I'm Not On Crack! Okay, Maybe Just A Little
by Alexex
Summary: Welcome ladies and gentleman, to the Tenth Chapter Encore Special, where one of the last nine one shots are continued on past their original endings... Prepare for insanity, because I have no clue what the hell I'm doing... -.-
1. Notie: Outsmarted by a Valley Girl!

Just so you know… I AM currently working on the next Broken Strings chapter, but am having a hard time writing another chapter that meets the previous chapters caliber. I wrote about two hundred words, and slammed my forehead on the keyboard after not being able to write more. So… I'll try my best to have something up by the end of next week. Until now… ANOTHER ONE SHOT SORRY! Wooo! Some crack pairings, for my fellow crack lovers! Some pairings sweet, some pairings stupid. Might be short, might be long. I dunno! So to help douse my boredom and maybe help my writers block… First pairing!

Pairing: NoahxKatie

* * *

If that high-pitched, squealing, girly… _Thing_, didn't shut up about Justin for five minutes, within five minutes, Noah was seriously considering sliding off the bar chair and into the pool and drowning himself.

Did she ever shut up? I mean, really? How can one talk for so long, let alone about some guy who _never _talks. It didn't make sense.

Well, most things Noah encountered while on this stupid show didn't make sense. So, was it really that surprising?

Noah narrowed his eyes behind his novel, trying to concentrate on the sentence he was on. The sentence that he had read twenty-seven times now in the past ten minutes. But hey, who's counting?

Deciding that this was a lost cause, Noah sighed and placed his bookmark on the page he was reading, and snapped the book shut. He placed his book on the counter of the juice bar, and decided to tune in on the wonder twins conversation. Not because he wanted to; he _didn't. _It was the last thing he'd ever want to do on the planet!

Or so he said.

He only joined in on their idiotic ramblings because he was bored…

Though, he did admit the way her face scrunches up in disgust at the mention of last month's fashions was _kinda _not completely horrible…

And the way her bright pink, full, glossy lips parted slightly when she was confused; which frankly, I'm not going to lie, was quite often, was _sort of _not utterly repulsive.

And the way the sun reflects off the sheen of her raven black hair was so… Not _hideous._

"…and I could TOTALLY see my reflection in his perfect…pearly…white teeth. _Sooooo _dreamy." Sadie gushed, clamping her hands together and smiling adoringly at the male model from afar. Katie sighed contently, and nodded in agreement making her pigtails flop around.

"Oh, I know Sadie! And his tan… Is just so… Yummy!" Katie chirped, fanning her face as if the hotness radiating off of Justin she was drooling about was affecting her, and she needed to cool off.

Noah rolled his eyes, and leaned against the counter with his head propped up in the palm of his hand while his elbow held it up. He lazily glanced at her, smiling sardonically. "Yes, because you obviously know what cancerous, toxic tanning oil tastes like." He droned.

Katie sent him a look, and rolled her eyes. "It's like, a figure of speak?"

Noah felt a smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth, and he obliged. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm not as fluent in valley 'speak' as I am in actual English. I guess I forgot to pack my Valley to English dictionary… My suitcase was already too full of actual literature."

Katie narrowed her eyes, and scoffed. She crossed her arms and clenched her jaw slightly. "Hey! I totally can speak proper English, right Sadie?"

"Totally!" Sadie agreed, coming to the defense of her BFFFL. Sadie slid into the cool chlorinated pristine water the resort had to offer, and swam to the edge where she proceeded to go gossip with Beth leaving the two alone.

"Really…" Noah challenged, sitting up to look the tanned girl with more interest then previously let on.

Katie closed her eyes and tilted her chin up conceitedly. "Ch'yeah huh I can!" She said, agreeing childishly.

Noah narrowed his eyes slightly and smiled at her smugly, and leaned close to her. The closest he's leaned into a girl in a long time. "Prove it."

Katie uncrossed her arms and clenched her hands into fists, and growled slightly. He was implying she was stupid, wasn't he! Ugh, how she totally hated when people did that, or looked down on her and Sadie because they weren't _total_ Einsteinettes…

"Fine! I will, Noah! I _will_ prove you wrong, by _not_ being myself. I'll _prove _that's wrong to be different, and be happy the way you are. I'll prove that just because I love being near my BEST friend in the whole wide world and care more about having her as a friend than a stupid dumb contest, makes me a useless, brainless, sheepish, BIMBO! AND I'LL PROVE THAT I DO INDEED, HAVE MY OWN BRAIN!" Katie exclaimed, grabbing the attention of not just Noah, but most of the ex-campers.

Noah stared at her with wide eyes, and slight…_respect_, even. Did she really just say that to him?

Yes, yes she did.

Did it make him feel allure?

In the wise words of Lindsay; _DUH._

Katie breathed heavily, and tried to catch her breath after outburst. Once her breathing was under control, she grabbed her Strawberry-Banana Bananza smoothie and took a sip of it.

Noah blinked a few times. "Uh…" He trailed off, staring at her somewhat awkwardly.

"What are you talking about, Noah? What do you plan to utter to me?" She asked, playing coy. She smirked slightly, as she took another drink of the smoothie.

Noah slowly narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow. _Oh, so that's how she wanted to play it, huh?_ "I _plan _to 'utter' to you, that someone of your caliber can not simply outsmart ME. I have an IQ of over 188 points, and-" Noah spat.

"If you're truly that intelligent, why did you sign up for a reality show?" She cut in, sending him a look.

Noah was taken aback by that statement, but quickly regained composure before she could celebrate her fickle victory. "For _obvious_ reasons." He retorted, crossing his arms, and leaning against the glass counter of the in-pool mini bar.

Katie raised an eyebrow and eyed him apprehensively. She too crossed her arms, then glared down at him. "Like what?" She questioned.

"To spread my knowledge with humankind and make the world a better place, by ridding it of some of it's stupidity by winning the cash and funding Laurier University."

"Oh, what cash?" Katie laughed, rolling her eyes. "You're _eliminated!_" She pointed out.

Noah pursed his lips, before rolling his eyes and pointing at her. "Yeah, well so are you!" He countered.

Katie smirked and leaned dangerously close to the bookworm's face. "Yeah, but _you,_" she whispered huskily, jabbing a manicured glossy bright pink finger to his flat untoned chest, before intensifying her smirk, "got eliminated before _me._"

Noah was at a loss for words. Not only because Katie. KATIE. Had outsmarted him, but also because of how close to his face she was. He glanced around nervously, trying to think of a snide remark to bring him back towards being the victor of the argument, but he was having some major difficulties, only making her smug smirk grow tenfold.

"What's the matter Noah, cat got your tongue?" Katie giggled, pushing his jaw slightly to the side with her fist.

Noah shook his head wildly, either to get his chestnut brown bangs out of his eyes, or to shake the urge to press his lips against hers out of his brain. He looked into her eyes, and sighed.

Katie's face lit up and she pulled away from Noah's face and threw her hands up in victory. "HA! I TOTALLY WON!" She cheered.

She leaned close to his face again, and smiled cockily at him again. "I. Am. The. Winner. And. Just. Out. Smarted. Noah the Know it all!" She gloated, jabbing a finger to his chest arrogantly after each word.

Noah scowled, and grabbed her hand and narrowed his eyes. "Could you stop your idiotic prodding! It's very aggravating!" He shouted.

Katie's face fell, before it morphed into anger as well. She stuck out her lower lip and rolled her eyes. "Ohhhhh… Looks like _some_one…" Katie trailed off, before grinning and turning towards the rest of the people chilling poolside. She cupped her mouth, and smirked. "IS A SOOOORRE LOSAHHHH!" She yelled.

"I AM NOT A SORE LOSER!"

"You so totally are." She snickered, turning back to him.

Noah grit his teeth together, and growled. Katie raised an eyebrow and looked at him haughtily.

"Hey guys, do you- why are you two holding hands?" Sadie asked walking back over, pointing at the two tanned teens.

Katie and Noah's expressions blanked. They quickly snapped their gazes from the larger BFFFL down to their hands, and surely enough they were still entwined.

"GAH!" They exclaimed, each jerking their hand away from they other. Noah hastily swung his arm behind it and scratched it awkwardly, while Katie looked down at her hands, her cheeks the slightest shade of pink.

"O…k then…" Sadie said, hesitantly. She grabbed her Star Stalker magazine, and waded back over to where Beth was sitting at the edge of the pool. Sadie smiled to herself as she headed back to Beth.

Those two were so totally crushing on each other.

Especially after Sadie noticed how tenderly Noah held her hand, and how well hers fit in his.

Too bad they were totally pulling a Duncan and Courtney and not admitting it.

What a shame.

But hey, they've still got the elimination of twelve more people! Who knows what will happen? But the secret glances they stole from each other definitely confirmed that it certainly would be good.

* * *

You like? You hate? Was it good? Was it bad? I hope I did pretty well on my first Notie one shot, and kept everyone in character pretty well! I'm not so used to these characters, and hope that it wasn't completely horrible… PLEASE REVIEW!

Next chapter: DuncanxBridgette, JustinxCourtney, or TrentxLindsay? You decide! The pairing with the most reviews/requests will be written no matter HOW BAD I SCREW UP WITH IT.

PEACE OUT FOR NOW!


	2. Trindsay: Awkward Trust

Thanks to all who read and reviewed! Your feedback always makes me smile, and your kind words too! Thanks for putting up with the surprisingly not epic failure of a Notie one shot, and now… By one vote…

TRINDSAY!

Lemme tell ya, I'm excited to write this. I'm a huge Trindsay shipper, and glad it won! Well… Time to see if I can pull this off!

Pairing: TrentxLindsay

* * *

"Todd, you have to come with us!" Lindsay beamed, nearly jumping out of excitement as she pulled Trent away from the goth he would have much rather spent the canoe trip with, instead of a wannabe with a mouth full of braces, and a fake-blonde bombshell.

But Trent was too _sweet_ and _nice _to say that to their faces, so he heaved a sigh and let himself be dragged to the canoe.

"Okay guy-ths. Who'th gonna sss-it where?" Beth asked, strapping into her life jacket.

"Uh, I guess I'll sit back, Beth, you can go in front, and Lindsay, you can go middle." Trent offered.

Lindsay and Beth smiled brightly at him, and nodded. "Okay!"

Beth grabbed an oar, and turned to the front of the canoe, almost whacking both Trent and Lindsay in the head with it. Trent ducked just as Lindsay had bent over to grab the second oar. Beth sat in the front of the canoe and focused on something in the distance, trying to clear her mind.

Trent sighed in relief as he stood upwards. He looked at Lindsay as she stood back up, and cluelessly examined the cheap wooden oar.

"Uhm, Lindsay?" Trent questioned, trying to get her attention.

Lindsay turned to him, the ever-lasting vacant expression still painted across her pretty face.

"What does this do-hickey do?" She asked, holding up the aforementioned 'do-hickey'.

Trent took the oar from her clutches, pausing when his hand brushed hers. His turtle green eyes widened slightly as they met her bright blue ones.

He never really noticed how… clear and blue they were. And also, so innocent, despite how the rest of her body screamed 'naughty'. It was quite fascinating to him, really.

Noticing that he'd been staring at her for quite some time- much longer than necessary, Trent flinched and yanked his hands out of hers.

"Uhhhhh this, is a-an oar. It's for paddling the canoe." He explained, slightly stuttering over his words. He scratched the nape of his neck feeling slightly awkward, embarrassed, and…nervous? Strange.

Lindsay continued to stare at him blankly, letting what he had explained to her seep into her brain, like the chemicals she used on her hair. She nodded slightly, coming to partial realization.

"Paddling…? So…" She began. "It like, makes pretty lily pads that go with the canoe?"

Trent blinked once, twice, and three times, returning her blank stare. Though his was more of a 'Oh my _god_… Is she serious?' look.

Trent sighed, and ran a few fingers through his mop top of black hair. He set down the oar, and put on his polyester orange flotation device, and sat down in the canoe, deciding _not _to pursue the conversation that would probably take two hours, costing their team the victory.

Lindsay stared at him, before turning away and grabbing the last low-cost life jacket Chris had provided for his victims- or, _contestants _if you will_. _

She slipped her arms through, and tried to close it enough to zip up, but her breasts were taking up too much space, and the life jacket wouldn't close.

Lindsay sighed and grunted, as she struggled to close the life jacket enough to at least buckle it up to get _some _protection.

After thrashing around as she attempted to close the life jacket, she blew out a breath scowled. She slowly turned to Trent with wide pleading eyes, and stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

"Trooooooy…" She whined, childishly. Lindsay made her lower lip quiver, as she pouted at the slightly nervous/aroused musician. "Can you help me? My floaty vest won't close!"

Trent's palms started to sweat, as he silently gulped. "Uh… Uh…" He stammered. Trent bit his lip, as he stood up from the bench of the canoe and walked- or stumbled, really, over to the blonde.

Lindsay grinned, and clapped her hands perkily oblivious to Trent's panicky behavior.

"Okay uhm, so what do I… Uhm, do?" Trent squeaked.

"Oh, my _girls,_" Lindsay giggled, referring to her boobs, "are kind of not like, letting the thingy-ma-bob close, so I need your help closing this! Oh, I know!" Lindsay chirped, grabbing Trent's shaking, clammy hands and placing them on her breasts. She smiled oblivious to Trent's pleasure, shock, and slight discomfort, though most of his mind was either screaming "Oh my _god!_" or "Humina humina humina…"

Lindsay held Trent's hands, and pressed them closer together, squishing her cleavage and making her chest rise and become slightly smaller. Lindsay removed her hands, leaving only Trent's hands on her boobs, him staring in shock, jaw agape as he watched her as she buckled the life jacket as if having his hands on her chest wasn't weird at all!

Trent removed his hands, eyes the size of dinner plates at what just happened. What would Gwen think? Why did he suddenly not _care, _what she thought?

Trent let out a breath, as he tried to think rationally instead of with his pants.

…And was failing miserably.

Lindsay giggled as she flipped her golden locks, and sat down in the canoe. She waved flirtatiously at him, and blew a kiss.

Trent gulped, and trembled as he pushed the canoe into the murky lake water. He sighed as he got in, and waited for Chris' mark to officially start the race.

* * *

"…and that'sth when I sth-aved ALL of the baby pig-ths. By putting out the WHOLE fire with my braces-th s-thpitle! Mind you, the fire was-th reaaally small, but I totally felt like a hero!" Beth bragged, though Trent had tuned her out long ago. His mind couldn't stop wandering to what had happened with Lindsay.

It was normal to feel attracted to someone like Lindsay, especially after they practically _tell _you to feel them up.

But… was it more than just attraction? Even before the 'incident', he could've _sworn _he felt some major sparks when her soft hands met his.

Maybe even more sparks then with Gwen…

Lindsay, who had tuned out Beth as well- mostly because she had _nooo_ clue what the heck she was talking about. I mean, don't little piggies hang out with yellow bears, giant rabbits, kangaroos, and bouncing tigers in hundred acre woods? Unless… The TV lied!

She sighed, and leaned back into Trent's lap, and squirmed around a bit to get comfy. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her arms, before opening an eye and peering into Trent's ample eyes.

"You don't mind if I work on my tan, do you?" Lindsay asked.

"I don't mind _one _bit…" Trent sighed, smiling down at her dreamily.

The two were silent for a while, the only sound being the rustle of water, and distant chatter.

Trent looked around, the surroundings being very calm. Trent looked down at Lindsay, who was resting with her eyes closed, and did admit… She _was_ very stunning. Gorgeous.

Like Gwen…

"Lindsay?" Trent murmured, still casting his gaze downwards at the blonde.

She lazily opened one baby blue eye, and smiled slightly at him. "Mmhmm?" She hummed.

"Uh… Do you uh, I mean, what was… I…with… Ugh…" Trent stammered, blushing slightly at how much of an idiot he must look like.

Lindsay's smile widened faintly, and she chuckled softly. "I know. You must feel like, kind of awkward with what I did, but… It's only cause I think you're a cutie, and completely trust you wouldn't do anything. And… I like you." She replied, softly. She yawned, and closed her eyes and snuggled him a little.

"…I like you too, Lindsay." He whispered, gently grabbing onto the blonde's hand.

"Thanks, Trent." She whispered back, smiling and holding his hand a little tighter, as if to reassure him.

Trent looked down at her intently, before he felt the corners of his mouth tug into a genuine smile.

She got his name right…

* * *

Awww! How was that for my first Trindsay? I rewrote the ending like, a lot, but I think it was really sweet, especially because I LOOOVE the episode Up The Creek. Ah… Those were the days… I miss TDI. The second and third seasons are harshing my mellow…

Well, now that that's over with… REVIEW!

Next chapter: NoahxCourtney, HeatherxDuncan, or OwenxMr. Coconut? How's THAT for crack, eh? Haha!

I shall update soon, as long as I get reviews… So…

PEACE OUT FOR NOW!


	3. Mr Cowenut: A True Friend

Sigh… Okay guys, I'm getting some reviews with requests for completely different pairings. Not the ones I offered, which is okay I guess. Buuuuut sometimes, if it's because you don't want a pairing, and it wins the vote, I'm sorry… It's only fair to the voters. Majority rules, and all that jazz. This time, it was a tie between Nourtney and Mr. Cowenut. Soooo… I'll do both! First up… Mr. Cowenut!

Next pairing: OwenxMr. Coconut.

* * *

Darkness had blanketed over the creepy island, and it was really _really _starting to creep Owen out.

As the large boy tiptoed through the forest, making the least amount of noise as possible- which was excruciatingly difficult for someone of his size, he screamed after hearing a loud noise.

He stopped dead in his tracks, and trembled, totally freaking out. Owen sniffed the air, then chuckled at how paranoid he was being. The loud noise was just a fart! Nothing to be scared of! Well, if you were Owen it was nothing to be scared of, because bodily gas omissions were very frequent with him, and his nostrils and gag reflexes were used to them.

He continued on his merry way through the woods, the only sounds in the dead of night being nocturnal animals, crickets chirping, small ripples rustling in the lake not too far away, the occasional fart, and the plants getting massacred by Owen as he treaded over them.

Once he reached camp, he heaved a sigh of relief, forcing himself not to drop down to his knees, throw his arms up, and scream 'HALLELUJAH!' All that walking had him pooped!

He looked around the dimly lit camp. The bonfire was still ablaze, though the intensity had lessened moderately. The light omitted from the flames danced across the hefty blonde's stature as he made his way to the source of his expedition.

THE MESS HALL!

Owen gasped happily, and smiled dreamily at the only building he loved with his entire heart and soul. And not just one or the other, like when it came to the bathroom or somewhere he could sleep and let his 27 fillings digest.

He placed a hand on the rusty doorknob, and turned it, wincing when a loud creak was heard. He sauntered into the old, empty dining hall feeling quite alone.

Eh, nothing a ham couldn't fix.

He entered the kitchen, and walked over to the refrigerator and felt a shiver go down his spine as the cool air met his chubby cheeks.

Browsing through what was left, after his earlier pre-midnight snack, he groaned and sighed.

Owen bit his lip, as he felt his tummy rumble out of hunger.

"Oh darn-it!" He mumbled, looking through empty cans, meatless chickens, and freezer frost.

Owen felt the rumbling in his stomach become more audible, and urgent. He clutched his stomach, and looked around suspiciously as if he felt someone was watching him and the loudness of his stomach would give away his location.

"Don't worry, tummy! I'll find us something to eat!" He assured his stomach.

Owen's eyes widened when he picked up a can of spinach, the rumbling in his stomach as loud as ever. Owen chewed the inside of his cheek nervously, before whimpering and extending his arm and turning away from the can.

"No! It's not worth it!" He cried. Owen threw the can over his shoulder, and sighed.

Owen looked through the refrigerator yet again, and groaned. "Dang it, where does Chef keep his malamars!" He exclaimed. Owen paused when he came across a lowly coconut.

Owen furrowed his brow, and stood up. He rubbed the hairy surface of the tropical fruit with his thumb, and slowly felt a smile creep across his face.

"Wooooow…" He murmured, holding up the coconut to get a better look at it.

"Hey little buddy!" He chuckled. "I bet you're sad all by your lonesome…"

Owen sighed, and looked down. "I know how it feels to be lonely…" He frowned.

"…" The coconut stayed silent, as Owen continued to hold it in his clutches.

"How, you ask? Well, Mr. Coconut, I think people don't truly get to see the real me! They just assume I'm some kind of-" Owen explained, before pausing to fart. "-human fart machine! Or a lazy slacker, or they're afraid of me _because _they think I'm a human fart machine!"

"…"

"Crazy, I know, right?" Owen grinned.

"…"

"Wow… Four sisters, huh? And they always used to block your sun back on the palm tree? That sucks! I've never lived with girls, unless my mom counts as a girl…" Owen replied, tapping his chin in thought. He closed the refrigerator, and leaned against a nearby counter as he continued to chat with Mr. Coconut.

"Frankly, I really don't wanna live with girls. Wait! That's not what I meant! It's just, I wanna live with them, but sleep with _guys. _No! I didn't mean that either!" Owen shouted panicking, before grimacing.

"…"

"Oh thank marshmallow heavens!" Owen sighed in relief, after hearing that Mr. Coconut understood what he was really trying to say.

"…"

"Do _I _have a special someone here at camp…?" Owen repeated, feeling his cheeks heat up a bit. He paused to think, then sighed. "Promise not to tell anyone?" He whispered. Owen made the coconut move up and down to mimic nodding.

Owen smiled. "Great! Gee Mr. Coconut, you sure are easy to talk to."

"…"

Owen chuckled, and waved a hand dismissively. "Oh stop, you're too kind! Well… Gwen's cool. LeShawna's cool, too. Uhm, Heather is kind of…mean. But, I bet it's probably because she was fat and pimply as a child." Owen chuckled.

"…"

"Totally! Courtney is bossy and sort of mean, but I know she means well. Lindsay, is like, totally pretty and nice! She's a great friend. Eva scares me… Uh, Katie and Sadie are nice too, but I don't really know them all that well. I don't really think Beth is all that… pretty but she is totally kind and a great pal, but I wouldn't really consider us compatible. Izzy… I think she's awesome. I really like her as a friend, but who knows, maybe we could be more than friends. Bridgette is nice, and caring, but she is totally meant for Geoff, and- Eh, she's not my type."

"…"

"What IS my type? Uh, someone nice, doesn't care what people think… Uh…" Owen said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"…"

"Oh, no! You didn't put me on the spot! I- No! I don't think any less of you, Mr. Coconut, don't worry- Of course I like you Mr. Coconut, you're a very handsome fruit." Owen ranted.

"…"

"Of course I mean it." Owen smiled.

"…"

"I really like talking to you too, Mr. Coconut." Owen murmured, before staring down into its 'eyes' and leaning in.

"OWEN!" Izzy exclaimed.

"GAH!" Owen exclaimed, jumping out of fright. He turned around, and his eyes widened when he saw that everyone still in the competition (still sporting their sleepwear), including Chef and Chris, was staring back at him with equally wide, sleepy eyes, and jaws agape. Owen gazed out a close by window, and saw that it was dawn, and he had spent the rest of the evening chatting with Mr. Coconut.

"What are you doing?" She asked hesitantly.

"Uhm…" Owen said, racking his brain for a response that didn't make him look like more of an idiot.

"The **better **question is, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN, MAGGOT?" Chef boomed.

Owen winced, and twiddled a few fingers nervously.

"Is that…a coconut?" Duncan chuckled. The other campers started to snicker as well, making Owen wish the floor would just swallow him up whole. That would be a _very_ large meal for said floor.

Owen felt a few hot tears slide out of his eyes and down is cheeks, before he shoved his way through the crowd, and ran out the door, not sparing anyone a glance as they continued to mock him.

* * *

Owen panted as he finally reached the edge of The Dock of Shame. He doubled over and gasped for air, after all the running he did, it left him feeling very fatigued.

Once his breathing was relatively back to normal, he held up Mr. Coconut. He stared at it, and blinked away the few tears that still lingered in his vision.

"…"

"Oh, no, don't be sorry Mr. Coconut." Owen said, smiling slightly. He sniffed, and wiped away some tears with the back of his free hand. "They're just jealous, that's all." He assured his coconutty friend. He caressed his leafy top, then rubbed his hairy outside with his thumb.

"Now, this is more for you than for me. You gotta get outta here, buddy! These people aren't like me! They only see you as a worthless _fruit!_" Owen exclaimed, placing a hand on his forehead melodramatically.

Owen smiled, and sniffed. "But Mr. Coconut, you're so much more than that. You, are a true friend."

"…"

"Oh don't worry, I'm f-fine. I'll be fine, as long as you're fine too."

"…"

"Aww, me too. I feel the same way." Owen replied, sniffling. He wiped his eyes one last time, before plating a kiss atop Mr. Coconut's soft flakey marrow.

"…"

"I'll miss you too!" Owen cried, before throwing Mr. Coconut as hard as he could into Lake Wawanawkwa. He felt more tears slide down his cheeks, as he waved goodbye to his one genuine companion. He smiled despite his sadness, and wiped his eyes as Mr. Coconut started to float away.

"Don't worry Mr. Coconut, I shall never let go!"

* * *

Awww I thought this was totally sweet, and I almost cried writing the ending! I totally LOVE Mr. Coconut, AND Owen. I hope you enjoyed this! Please review! Next chapter, is Nourtney, and I shall update soon!

PEACE OUT FOR NOW!


	4. Geourtney: Silencing Kisses

Apologies to all who wanted Nourtney, but here's my side of the story. I had a really awesome idea, but I got really stuck and I really don't want to abandon it… And did I just say 'really' 3 times in one sentence? Wow… Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience, but to tide you over until I finish off the Nourtney one shot… Here's a really short Geourtney! GeoffxCourtney if you're wondering. Eh, what can I say? I'm feeling ballsy and am gonna try one of my guilty pleasure cracks- too bad there's hardly any quality Geourtney.

* * *

Courtney hazily opened her eyes, and inwardly groaned when the bright light of morning entered her pupils. Her lids were heavy and felt strained, and her throat was dry. She blinked a few times to try and focus her vision, but she… had to be seeing things.

What Courtney saw was _not _her bedroom. In fact, it wasn't a female's room at all. She furrowed her brow at the messy room that lay before her, and winced at the throbbing pain in her head. She glanced down at the untidy bed she rest in, and noticed she was practically naked. She was wearing her new lingerie that she bought for Geoff's end of the year bash- her eyes shot opened when she realized where she was. She was still at _Geoff's_ house, in _his_ bed. But… why?

Courtney quietly and carefully slid out of the bed, wrapping the comforter around her body to try and cover up more of her body, and ran a few fingers through her tangled and disheveled. She was drawing a major blank. She cursed Gwen for getting her to play the drinking game. For seven rounds…

Courtney slowly walked towards the door, being mindful of the clutter that littered the floor. She paused, her eyes widening when her bare foot made contact with a chiseled chest, and a low pitch grunt was heard.

Courtney looked down and gasped, when her eyes met Geoff's unfocused baby blue ones. She quickly covered herself more while her cheeks flashed pink.

"Geoff! What are you doing!" Courtney shrieked.

Geoff blinked confusedly, staring up at Courtney. "I…dunno." He shrugged, before smiling slightly. "Just enjoying the view, I guess." He said, lazily.

Courtney gasped and became an even darker shade of red, wrapping the blanket around her to the point you would think it would cut off her circulation. "GEOFF! UGH!"

Geoff shot up, and winced as his wicked hangover caught up with him and stretched as Courtney went into rant mode. He cringed again as her rant began to increase in volume.

"Whoa, dudette… chill…" Geoff said calmly.

Courtney gaped at him, before narrowing her eyes angrily. "Chill? _Chill_? DON'T TELL ME TO CHILL, GEOFF! DO YOU NOT GET THE SITUATION WE ARE IN RIGHT NOW? I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT IT! IT'S HORRIBLE! WE COULD'VE H-HAD… Sex! W-what if we weren't safe! What-"

Courtney's panicky rant was cut off by Geoff pressing his lips against hers, instantly silencing her. Geoff pulled away while Courtney stared at him blankly, blushing slightly.

"What…was that for?" She asked hoarsely.

Geoff cracked his usually cheery smile, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well… I don't really know. It could've been to shut you up- all the yelling was seriously heavy, brah, and wasn't helping my killer headache." He replied, earning a scowl from Courtney. He quickly tried to make amends. "Though, it also… Could've been 'cause I wanted to." He smiled.

Courtney weakly smiled back at the laid-back cowboy, and his lame attempt to get back on her good side. She now knew why when Bridgette and Geoff were dating, they made out so much. Geoff's lips were amazing, and definitely left a girl wanting more.

* * *

This is rushed and sucky, and terrible, cause I'm in a rush. But if I have time, I might fix it up later, if you actually- dare I say it… liked it! Anywaysies, please review! Until next time!


	5. Nourtney: A Bet Then, Is It?

Sorry for the late update peeps, high school is totally draining my energy, and free time. But it is still totally amazing. Haha, well as promised, here's Nourtney! Those who don't want Nourtney, feel free not to read, but also feel free to suggest a new couple at the end of this one shot! Well without further aidou…

Next pairing: NoahxCourtney.

* * *

"And that my little friends, is when E-Scope ate a WHOLE BOWL of RAW pig snouts! TOTALLY gross, but it had to be done… In order for me to win the lego sword to defeat Dracula!" Izzy chirped, making animated hand gestures.

Noah rolled his eyes for the forty-seventh time that lunch hour, and sighed. He really inquired _why _he sat there, with Little Miss Weird and Weirder, a human fart machine, a techno geek and his mental obsessed stalker.

Deciding not to continue listening to the ball of energy that was Izzy, he glanced to his right, and watched with one eyebrow raised as Sierra continued to crush Cody in a bone-breaking hug. She giggled, while Cody stared at her confused, fretting what her level of mental stability was.

Noah snickered, causing Cody to narrow his eyes at him in a glare.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing, nothing. It's nothing." Noah replied, waving him off. He tried to stifle his laughter, while Sierra turned to him, loosening her grip on Cody slightly.

"Surveys show that whenever guys say nothing, it almost always means _something._" She retorted.

Noah sent her an unamused glare, and sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, sure. Whatever. What's your source?" He snorted. Sierra grinned and prepared herself to respond, but Noah groaned and rolled his eyes once again.

"You know what, nevermind. I'm pretty sure it's best for all of us and our sanity if you don't share."

Sierra and Cody scowled, before rolling their eyes.

"Dude, you _could_ try and be nice for once." Cody said.

"Yes. But that involves _way_ too much effort. Like I care what you mouth breathers think of me anyway." Noah replied with a scoff.

"You know what Noah, you just increased your chances of dying old and alone by 0.4 percent with that comment." Sierra huffed, narrowing her eyes.

"Uhm… H-how do you know that?" Cody asked tentatively.

Sierra smiled and snuggled Cody into another bone-crushing embrace, and sighed happily. "I'm a first-generation percentage counter, DUH!" She chirped. Sierra leaned in close to his ear sending shivers down Cody's spine from fear or envy, you couldn't tell, and Sierra smiled. "And a first generation Cody addict…"

"Uhm…yeah. Well, I've definitely lost my appetite, and I think I'm going to go to the bathroom." Cody stammered, trying to pry the violet-haired stalker off of his scrawny and soon to be mangled body.

"Great! I'll come with you!" Sierra beamed, crushing Cody even more.

The gap-toothed techno-geek's face began to redden from lack of oxygen, and he squired to try and get out of her hug. "Alone." He squeaked out.

Sierra gasped and her face blanked. "B-but… But! _CODY…_" She whined, her lower lip quivering and her big black eyes widening.

Cody winced and successfully unraveled her iron grip. He took in a deep breath to restore the airflow to his lungs, and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "I'll see ya later, Sierra. And please…" Cody sighed, sending her a tired smile. "Don't follow me."

"But, who'll be your attendant! Who will give you foot rubs while you tinkle! And-and… Who will make sure you don't fall in!" Sierra sniveled, before grabbing Cody's head and squeezing it against her chest. "WHO WILL PROTECT YOUR BEAUTIFUL TINY-HEINY!" She wailed, swaying from side to side, strangling Cody even more.

"Oh, what a _disaster_ that would be. To lose such an important _ass_et." Noah mumbled, rolling his eyes with a small smirk.

Sierra sent Noah a vicious glare, while Cody took the opportunity to break free once more, and scurry off to the bathroom. Noah stared back into Sierra's eyes emotionlessly, as she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.

"You, Noah, have absolutely _no_ heart!" She huffed, crossing her arms and turning away.

Noah glared at her, before resting his chin in the palm of his hand and letting the corners of his mouth curl into a tiny smirk. "Thanks, back at ya, honey." He droned.

Sierra narrowed her eyes and scoffed. "Honey? How DARE you call me that! That name, along with several other endearments is strictly reserved for my Cody-Wodykins! And how DARE you say I have no heart! YOU HAVE NO HEART! My heart clearly beats for Cody Emmett Jameson ANDERSON! **I HAVE SIX SHRINES TO HIM!** **DOES THAT NOT PROVE MY UNDENYING LOVE, NOAH? HUH? HUH! SO DON'T TELL ME, I DO NOT HAVE A HEART!**" Sierra fumed, grabbing the egghead by his sweater vest and lifting him off the ground, and glaring menacingly into his slightly frightened eyes. He could have sworn he saw her eye twitch. Sierra growled before roughly dropping the bookworm, and stalking out of the cafeteria.

Noah glared after the Cody fanatic, before standing up and brushing himself off. "Ever heard of the term, 'gentle'?" He called after her, before sighing. Noah glanced back to where he was previously sitting; Izzy and Owen were wrapped up in a make out session, making the booklover cringe and grab his book. Noah looked around, and saw Courtney sitting alone, engrossed in her own piece of reading material.

Noah smirked lightly, before walking over and seating himself across from the CIT.

Courtney, not noticing him yet, continued to read, until Noah spoke up.

"Well, well, well… What do we have here? Someone besides me? Actually reading in their free time?" Noah commented, his everlasting sarcastic tone as strong as ever.

Courtney blinked, as she lowered the novel she was reading so she could see who had spoken. She instantly narrowed her eyes when she saw that it was Noah.

"Sorry. I don't converse with the _enemy._" Courtney replied snobbishly, gesturing towards the school council president candidate posters with her and Noah competing against each other.

Noah looked to the poster, then rolled his eyes and sent a challenging stare to the mocha-skinned prep. "Sorry to break this to you, but you just spoke to me." Noah said, with a hint of _'Duh_' in his vocal pitch.

"No I didn't!" Courtney exclaimed.

"Oh really?" Noah smirked, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin the palm of his hand.

"Yes, really!" She snapped, leaning across the table to ensure her glare was noticed; which it was. Noah remained unfazed.

"Let's have a little bet, then, shall we? If you did talk to me, you must spend the evening as my… Secretary."

Courtney narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. She raised an eyebrow. "And if _I _win?" She questioned.

"Not possible." Noah chuckled, his smirk growing ever so slightly.

"How are you so sure!" Courtney snarled, leaning closer to Noah in efforts of frightening him. But he wasn't having it.

"Courtney?" Noah smirked.

"What!" She barked.

"You're speaking to me right now."

Noah's smirk widened as Courtney's expression and jaw dropped. He stared at her with amusement as she sputtered and tried to protest, but she and him both knew Noah was the victor.

Noah stood up abruptly, before turning away from the fuming brunette. "See you at the library, tonight, Courtney. At 7:30…sharp." He called over his shoulder, before heading towards the exit, his previous smirk replaced with the slightest of smiles.

Courtney glared after him as she continued to spur out nonsense, before she pulled at her hair. "UGH!"

Courtney hated; and I mean, HATED losing, especially to a guy like Noah. And at that particular moment, what she hated even more was that when it came to matters like bets…she stayed true to the wagers.

* * *

Courtney continued to grumble as she walked through the bitter cold to the library. She pulled up the collar of her jacket to try and block more of wind, as she picked up the pace. If she was even a minute late, she was positive she'd be getting an earful from Noah.

Noah. Courtney inwardly scoffed at her competition in the polls; he was an outcast. A loner. Pariah. He wasn't liked by many, she noted. Courtney always thought she was way better than him; she had better people skills, she knew politics like the back of her hand, and much more. But then she remembered, she wasn't all too popular, either.

So were they really that different?

No. In fact, they had a lot in common.

They both enjoyed politics, reading, history, public speaking, and were both intelligent.

Courtney sighed as she opened the door, and entered the calm, serene library and unzipped her coat. She hung it up on a nearby hook, before walking past the checkout desk into the heart of the large library.

"Uhm, hello? Noah?" Courtney called, as she weaved through numerous aisles.

"Miss Bailey." Noah acknowledged, from a large mahogany desk that lay in the mystery section of the library. Courtney walked over and stood in front of it as Noah stared at her with a dull expression. "You're two and a half minutes late." He noted, lightly.

Courtney scowled and crossed her arms. "Well maybe if you weren't hiding, I wouldn't have had to spend the past five minutes searching fo-" Courtney protested, before Noah raised a hand, silencing her.

"Ah, ah, ah. No back talk." Noah warned, earning a scoff and a glare from Courtney.

"Whatever, now what do you want from me!" Courtney huffed.

Noah stared at her, examining her from her glossy chestnut brown hair, to her cute little freckles, and even her chest; but he'd never admit that. Out loud.

Noah thought over what he could make her do. Groveling? Too fickle. Public humiliation? A little too immoral. Noah bit his lip in thought as his previous conversation with Sierra and Cody came to mind; he smirked as he got an idea. So he'd prove them wrong, _and _toy with Courtney. What a marvelous idea.

"Uhm, _hello?_ Earth to Noah!" Courtney sneered, snapping in front of his face, bringing him back to reality.

Noah blinked and shook his head, before smirking and beckoning Courtney over to him. She glared and rolled her eyes before walking around the desk towards him. Noah motioned for her to lean in a bit closer, and she reluctantly obliged.

"Now, Courtney… I'm going to give you two options. You could reorganized this _entire _section in the library while spouting out _sincere _comments on my overall superiority on command…" Noah began, hiding his cynical smirk when Courtney's jaw dropped creating a tiny 'O'.

"But…that would take hours!" Courtney protested.

"Or… If you refuse that option… You must do the second, with no complaints." Noah added, not fighting back the urge to smirk any longer.

Courtney eyed him skeptically, before crossing her arms. "And that would be…?"

"Kiss me." He murmured, earning a horrified expression from the brunette.

"What?" She shrieked, with wide eyes. "Ewe! As _if!_ No way! I refuse to do any of these stupid options! Sayonara, _Noah._" Courtney sneered, turning on her heel to leave with at least _some _of her pride in tact.

"Ooh…not a good idea, Miss Bailey…" Noah chided, stopping Courtney in her tracks. "If you decline _both _of these, I'll have to resort to flinging some mud towards your little campaign."

Courtney's eyes shot open, and she spun around to face the bookworm. Putting on her best poker face, Courtney scoffed and nonchalantly picked at her nails. "Oh please. As if you could find _anything _remotely usable against me!" She snorted. "I'm as clean as a bar of _soap!_"

"Ah, yes…" Noah smirked. His smirk widened as he twiddled his thumbs. "But every bar of soap has it's… Soap scum." He snickered.

"What are you talking about…"

Noah snickered once more, and cleared his throat. "_I know you, I walked with you once upon a dreeeeaaaam! I know you, the gleam in your eeeeeyye's is so, familiar a gleam!_" Noah sang, albeit a bit off key, in a mocking falsetto voice. Courtney gasped, her face turning bright red and her eyes nearly jumping out of their sockets. Noah burst out laughing, ignoring the shushes he got from others as Courtney started to spur out nonsense.

"Bu-but! H-how did you… Duncan _swore _he deleted that! How in _hell _did you get that!" She hissed through grit teeth, her voice dangerously low.

Noah regained his composure, and adjusted the collar on his shirt, sending Courtney a snide grin. "I have my sources."

Courtney glared at him with the intensity of a thousand daggers, her face still a bit pink, before she screamed earning quite a few shushes and kicked a nearby book cart. Her eyes widened when a twinge of pain shot up her foot and mumbled a few profanities earning a stifled laugh from Noah.

Courtney scoffed loudly before sticking up her nose and head over to the nearest bookshelf to start reorganizing. "Jerk!" She huffed.

Noah simply smirked, and propped his feet up on the desk and leaned back in his chair. "I could get used to this." He muttered to himself.

* * *

Noah read silently as Courtney continued to grumble to herself as she organized piles upon piles of novels. Noah, deciding she hadn't suffered _nearly _enough yet, agreed that now was the perfect time to amp up her torment.

"Hey Courtney!" He called, "now seems like the _perfect _time for you to tell me how _smart _I am."

"Ugh…" She groaned, rolling her eyes. "Noah, you are incredibly intelligent." She mumbled.

"What was that?" He smirked.

Courtney scowled and roughly shoved a book onto the shelf she was currently organizing. "Noah, you are incredibly intelligent!"

"Ah…much better. Now, tell me how much _smarter _I am than you."

Courtney glared and huffed. "No way, as if I'd ever say-"

"Ah, ah, ah… Need I remind you of your little _musical _number?" Noah snickered.

Courtney bit back a rude comment, and rolled her eyes once more. "Noah, you are clearly _much _more intelligent than me." She said sourly.

"Indeed, I am, aren't I?" He grinned, flipping to the next page in his book. Courtney bit back a comment on his narcissism, and narrowed her eyes as she finished off a shelf and moved onto another.

"Now… admit I'm the better politician."

Courtney's eye twitched as she dropped the book that was in her hand; now _that, _was clearly it. There was _no way _in hell, heaven, _or_ earth Courtney would admit that!

"Okay, you know what? No. _No! _I'm done, Noah! I'm done with your stupid game!" Courtney exclaimed, marching over to the egghead and lowering the book he was reading so she could glare into his eyes. "Enough is enough! I'm tired of your smartass attitude, and how you think you're better than everyone! Did you ever think that's maybe _why _no one really likes you?" Courtney barked.

Noah instantly narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "Oh, like _you're_ any better, _honey. _Newsflash; you're not everybody's bestest buddy _either._" Noah retorted.

"Don't you think I already _know _that? At least _I'm _able to admit with drowning others and myself in _sarcasm!_" Courtney yelled, narrowing her eyes into a squint and baring her teeth slightly as she leaned closer to Noah.

"Better to drown others in sarcasm than to manipulate them for my own selfish _needs!_" Noah shot back, leaning in closer as well.

"Better to be manipulative than to be a scrawny _weakling!_" Courtney hissed, jabbing Noah in his unmusucular chest with her pointer finger.

"Better to be a scrawny weakling than to be a controlling. Bossy. Independent. Attractive. CIT!" Noah spat, not even realizing the fact that he had involuntarily complimented the girl he _swore _he hated. His rival.

Courtney's eyes flickered for a split second before she grabbed onto the collar of Noah's shirt and pulled him in dangerously close.

"Oh yeah? Well _you,_ Noah, are by far the most cynical. Sarcastic. Clever. Charming. Bookworm, I have ever met." She said, shaking her head.

"You know what?" Noah questioned, his voice still challenging.

"What!" Courtney replied, her voice raised into a quiet yell.

"Just shut up, and kiss me woman!" He ordered, his eyes narrowed into a tiny and less intense glare.

"Gladly!" Courtney shouted back, still with a bit of venom left in her tone. She quickly closed the distance between their lips and crashed hers onto Noah's. They both quickly wrapped their arms around each other and closed their eyes, fighting the other for dominance.

Sierra and Cody poked their heads out from around the corner, their eyes instantly widening at the sight and sound of the two politician's sucking face.

"Whoa… Heh, would you look at that. Looks like Noah isn't gay, after all…" Cody noted, chuckling meekly.

Sierra smiled smugly, before holding out her palm expectantly.

"You owe me five bucks."

* * *

FINALLY! Jeepers that took long, and hopefully this was remotely worth the wait! I hope I did this couple justice, considering I'm no **screwtherulesihavmoney **or **Replicaa**… Anywaysies, please please PLEASE review! Also… This was supposed to get out on Halloween but… I was kinda busy… So sorry!

Next couple:

EvaxDJ, CodyxGwen, or ChrisxBlainely?

****Please only suggest or vote for couples that I ask for, it's kind of annoying getting a bajillion different requests cause… There's no clear winner! Thanks!****


	6. Chraineley: A LoseLose Situation

**Wow am I sooo lost... I've had so many intentions to update stuff, but after writing that MASSIVE finale for Broken Strings, it's like…POOF! Inspiration; Gone. So in efforts to try and douse my boredom and mental block, here's an update for I'm Not on Crack!**

**Next Pairing: ChrisxBlaineley.**

* * *

"Out of my way, people who are considerably less handsome and talented than me!" Our favourite egomaniac exclaimed, as he shoved his way in between two interns that were chatting idly, before being pushed apart by an egotistic Newfoundland native. Chris dashed through the busy hallway, his breathing choppy. He quickly looked back, his eyes widening when they met sapphire eyes of fire. He picked up the pace, as a loud yell entered his eardrums from about five metres away.

"GET BACK HERE, MCLEAN! YOU WILL _PAY_ FOR THIS!" Blaineley hissed, with hands balled up into tight fists. She waddled after Chris as fast as she could, considering one of the heels on her red stilettos had fallen off. Her hair was in tangles, her make up was smudged, and her dress was wrinkled and lopsided, showing off her skimpy, pink lacey bra.

"As well as my dry-cleaning, hair extensions, and MANI-PEDI!" She added, through gritted teeth. She started to gain ground on Chris, her breathing beginning to shallow.

"NEVER, O'HALLORAN! THAT JOB IS _MINE!_" Chris shot back, glaring at the vamp over his tanned muscular shoulder.

"IN YOUR DREAMS!"

"_NO_, IN MY DREAMS, THEY NEVER FIND YOUR UNTONED CELLULITE-RIDDEN BODY!"

Blaineley visibly fumed, before she sprinted in her last gust of energy, tackling the self-centered reality show host to the ground. They hit the floor with a thud, as Chris fell on his back, with Blaineley falling on top of him. Out of his left chest pocket, a piece of paper flew out and slid across the floor a few feet. Both Chris', and Blaineley's eyes widened on it as time seemingly froze.

A few moments passed, as Blaineley and Chris stay frozen in their current position; Blainely lying stomach down on Chris, as he lie on his back. Blaineley's arms lay over Chris's broad shoulders, as his rest on either side of her hips. Their eyes stay situated on the piece of paper, any expression on their faces gone.

Like a bullet, the anger returned in a flash as both of them struggled and reached for the paper, getting nowhere because they were too tangled with each other to move.

"Get off of me!" Chris grumbled, reaching for the piece of paper. But he was too far away to reach it.

Blaineley growled as she grabbed onto Chris' wrist and yanked it away, before shrieking as she slid off of Chris and landed in his arms. "Not until you get out of _my _way!" She seethed.

"Psh, as if, lady! _I'm _the more important one!" Chris snorted, shoving her away from him by her face. Blaineley grabbed a fistful of his wavy jet-black hair and pulled, making him yelp.

"Yeah, well _I'm _the hotter one! I have a _way _higher sex appeal than you, you sadistic asshole!" Blaineley yelled.

"Ch'yeah right! I'm _so _hot, ladies practically _cry _at my godlike stature." Chris stated proudly.

"Are you sure it isn't because you're hideous?" She scoffed, rolling her blue eyes. Chris scowled at her, before they continued their mad dash for the piece of paper.

What exactly got these two in this current position? Well…

**One hour earlier…**

Chris sighed, as he walked through the doors of yet another talent agency. Ever since he was canned from his job at Total Drama, thanks to some unfriendly lawsuits, he was having trouble finding another gig. This…this not having a job on TV situation…was something completely new, and frightening to out ex host. What if he was never able to get back on the mainstream?

Chris burst out laughing, and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. Like _that'll _ever happen. I mean, just look at him! He was _Chris _freaking McLean! The epitome of hotness! He'd have a new job in no time flat.

He walked over to the receptionist's desk, smirking slightly to himself when he noticed how attractive she was. Chris leaned against the desk, and peered down at the girl as she typed away innocently.

"Hi There, fine looking lady; it's your lucky day, because _you _get to tell _me _where I can find the manager of this fine establishment. And maybe, if all goes well, I'll let _you_ buy me a hot chocolate…" Chris said, lacing his voice with as much charm as he possibly could.

The receptionist looked up from the computer monitor, meeting Chris' eyes. A grimace accentuated her features, as she crinkled up her nose in distaste.

"Ew! You're like, old enough to be my _dad!_" The girl shrieked, between chews of her bubblegum. She blew a bubble in her gum as she analyzed Chris's face, before her hazel eyes widened.

"Ew! I think you _are _my dad! Daddy, what are you doing here?" She questioned, keeping her voiced hush as if someone she knows might see her.

"Jessie? What are you doing here!" Chris asked, his voice hushed as well. His eyes widened as well as he leaned closer to her so that the whole conversation could be kept quiet. It seemed as if both of them were as equally embarrassed to see the other in public.

"I asked you first! I thought we had an agreement, that outside of the house; I don't know you." Jessie hissed, narrowing her eyes on her father. She continued to chew on her gum as she tousled her wavy jet-black hair, as Chris scowled.

"Believe me, pretending we don't know each other does nothing more than make me ecstatic, but I need a gig! Can't you hook your old man up?" Chris pleaded.

"Psh, sorry- actually, no. I'm not that sorry at all. But that's not _my_ problem." She snorted, smiling smugly.

Chris' scowl deepened, as he noticed how much the girl sitting before him reminded him of himself.

"Get me an interview _now,_ or else you can _forget_ about your cellphone…" Chris began, watching the raven-haired female's mortified expression with narrowed eyes.

"Spa membership…"

Jessie's eyes widened further, as she began to bite her nails scared for her social life.

"Your _car…_" He listed, earning a gasp from his daughter. Jessie's hands flew to her hair as she processed this…this unholiness being bestowed upon her!

"…And last, but _certainly _not least; your credit cards." Chris smirked, knowing that would send her over the edge.

"NO! Not my _babies!_" Jessie cried. Chris snickered whilst Jessie pouted and narrowed her eyes at her dad. She growled quietly, before mumbling some incoherent profanities as she turned to the computer and began typing in some things.

"Third floor, room 316." She grumbled.

Chris' smug grin widened, as he headed over to the elevator.

"Thanks sweetheart, love you." He called over his shoulder.

Jessie scowled, before raising her arm as she flipped the egomaniac off.

"Drop dead!"

* * *

Chris exited the elevator, and started to walk down the hall, cringing when he realized just how long the line was. He scowled getting in line behind a blonde woman in a red dress, and picked at his perfectly manicured fingers.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion for Chris, as the line seemingly stood still. His scowl deepened, and he tapped his designer tennis shoe against the cheap linoleum floor impatiently, before glancing down at his watch.

"UGH! THIS IS ENDLESS! WHY ISN'T THE LINE MOVING!" Chris demanded, throwing his hands up in despair.

The woman in front of him rolled her eyes, before turning around and placing a hand on her hip as she stared at Chris with a dull expression.

"Calm down, buddy, you've only been here for ten seconds." She said, dryly as she rolled her eyes once more.

Chris glared at her, before his eyes widened.

"B-Blaineley?" He gasped.

"_The _one and only." She replied, placing her hands on her chest proudly. She smiled and held her chin up smugly. "I'd be touched to sign anything- but no underwear, or _anything else _below the belt, got it?"

Chris was still in shock at seeing the woman who stood before him; the only memory he had about her, was being able to shove her off the plane. A smirk found it's way onto his lips, and he shook his head.

"Wow, your body sure healed, didn't it?" He remarked.

Blaineley's widened and she stared at Chris shocked, as she started to tug at her hair flustered.

"Wh-what? Who told you I was ever-" She stop mid sentence, before slowly narrowing her eyes as Chris' smirk widened. "Oh… It's _you, _Chris."

"_The _one and only." He mocked, earning a scoff and a hit to the chest.

"Shut up. What are you doing here, anyway? Come to see the losers in front of me have their dreams crushed while I become the new anchorwoman of this news station?" She said, her voice full of smugness.

Chris rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but inwardly grimace; so this was an audition to be a news anchor? What a waste of his many talents.

"You wish. You may have had a shot against these talentless shmoe's, but now that _I'm _here; me. Chris McLean. You don't stand a _chance!_" He said cockily. Chris shoved Blaineley aside before taking her spot in line.

"Hey!" Blaineley huffed, yanking Chris' arm and pulling him out of her spot. "I don't _think _so, Mr. Hair Gel Addict. You may have been higher than me on the ladder of the success during the days of Total Drama, but those are long over, and _I _have a secret weapon." She said, smiling devilishly.

"Which would be…?" Chris trailed off.

"Psh, no way, as _if_ I'm gonna tell you. So you might as well run along, Chrissy. I got this in the bag." Blaineley gloated, before smirking at the scowling Chris. She strutted back into her spot in line.

Chris' scowl deepened, before he grabbed the honey blonde's elbow and shoved her into a nearby janitor's closet, despite her loud protests. Chris had a plan forming, and Chris McLean's plans _always _work.

Well, most of the time.

…Okay, _sometimes._

"Listen. Both of us want that job, and both of us aren't going to get it." Chris whispered.

Blaineley scowled as she ripped her elbow out Chris' grip. "Thanks for stating the _obvious, _dumbass. Care to _tell _me _why _you shoved me into a grungy janitor's closet lined with freeloading bacteria just _waiting _to give me blackheads!" She hissed, keeping her voice down low as well. Chris rolled his eyes, but it couldn't be seen due to the darkness of the closet.

"Okay, look. I _really _need this gig, Blaineley. If you give me your 'secret weapon', I promise to get you a job at FreshTV. I got good connections there."

"Let me think about- No." She scowled.

"Come _on_ Blaineley!"

"No! Since when have you _ever _been nice to me! You shoved me out of a _plane _for heaven's sake!"

"Um, hello? Ratings?" Chris deadpanned.

Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Well, did you mean it?"

"…Mean what?"

Blaineley stared directly into his eyes, making him feel slightly uncomfortable. Well, more so than usual when she looked at him.

"During one of those stupid songs, you called me a ratings jewel. Did you mean it?" She asked.

Chris tugged at his collar uneasily, and shifted his weight. He could always lie; but, for some strange reason, he didn't feel like he could in this current moment.

"Umm… Define _'jewel'_…" He said, clicking his tongue.

Blaineley scowled and flipped her hair, before turning to leave. Chris had to do something! Either he'd go jobless, or end up having to do something with Blaineley in order to _not _be jobless; it was a lose-lose situation!

Chris' eyes shot open as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her in close to him and placed his hands on her waist. Blaineley's eyes widened as she looked up into Chris' eyes confused at his odd behavior.

"Christopher McLean, _what _are you-!" Blaineley exclaimed until Chris' lips came crashing down onto hers. At first she was too shocked and confused to kiss back, but she somehow found her lips molding with his, as her eyes fluttered close and wrapped one of her arms around his neck, and rest her other hand on his cheek which was sporting his signature stubble.

Chris' pulled her in closer, as their kiss became hotter; lots of different things racing through each of their minds.

_Damn, this is hot. Hotter than expected, considering this is Blaineley… I just need to find that note; I know it's on her somewhere 'cause she had no purse…_

_Why the hell am I kissing him! I mean, I hate him, don't I? I guess this is how Heather felt kissing Alejandro… I can't believe how good this feels; almost __**too **__good… And what man tastes like cinnamon? Seriously! It's odd…but Sooo…so…. yummy._

Chris slowly eased them both to the ground, as they stayed connected at the mouth. Blaineley traced random patterns onto his muscular chestas Chris placed both his hands on either side of her to prop himself up as his legs straddled her. His left hand slowly made it's way up her bare thigh, before his fingers rested on the waistband of her panties, earning a soft moan from the back of her throat. Chris resisted smirking into the kiss, from the ego boost he certainly didn't need, as his other hand moved over and rested on Blaineley's bra strap.

She began to bite and suck on Chris' bottom lip, while lacing and running her fingers through his thick black hair. Chris admitted it felt amazing, but he'd never let _her _know that. He reached down into her top, not even fighting the smirk that appeared on his lips when he pulled out a folded up piece of paper.

Chris pulled away breathlessly, and smiled wickedly at the woman that lay beneath him as her eyes fluttered open and her chest heaved up and down from lack of oxygen.

"Wow…" Blaineley murmured, as Chris stood up thoroughly confusing her. She furrowed her brow as Chris fixed his hair to the best of his ability without a mirror, and made his way back to the door. He smirked at her as her eyes widened.

"Wh-what? Where are you going?" She questioned, her voice almost panicky.

"Sorry, Blaineley, but I've got an interview to go to. And I can't _possibly _be late." He taunted, his smirk widening as he waved the piece of paper around in his hand. Blaineley's eyes nearly burst out of their sockets, before they narrowed dangerously, as her jaw clenched.

"CHRIS! YOU _BASTARD!_" She fumed, balling her hands up into fists.

"The Christer _always _leaves the ladies wanting more!" Chris chuckled, exiting the closet as Blaineley's face turned almost as red as her dress.

"UGH!" She screeched as she sat up and tried to make herself remotely presentable. She stood up quickly, shrieking as the heel snapped on her right stiletto. Blaineley screamed as she whipped open the door with enough force to unhinge it. She growled as she took off after Chris, burning holes into the back of his perfectly coifed head with her glare.

"GET BACK HERE, MCLEAN! GET _BACK_ HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!" She screamed.

"No thanks, I wouldn't want you to break your foot on my buns of steel!" He shot back, snickering at her loud growl.

_**Presently…**_

Blaineley and Chris growled, as Chris pinned Blaineley down so he could reach for the paper. Blaineley, not having this, grabbed a fistful of his hair yanking him back, and smirking when she heard him yelp in pain.

Door 316 swung open, to reveal a professional looking man dressed in a suit, looking down at them confusedly. Blaineley and Chris froze, staring up at the man nervously.

"Um…hello there…" Chris greeted awkwardly, as his still stay straddling the blonde. While he was off guard, she shoved him off of her and plastered on a fake smile.

"Allow me to introduce myself; I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and I-"

"Was just about to leave, because I- Chris McLean- am interested in looking at the position of-"

"-News anchor for your station!"

The duo glared and grumbled simultaneously at each other, as the man slowly began to clap. Chris and Blaineley stopped and turned to him, and stared at him confusedly.

"You two are simply _perfect! _You _both _get the job!" He grinned.

"What…do you mean?" Blaineley asked, skeptically.

"You two, are the new co-anchors for the 11 o'clock news!"

"WHAT_?_!" Chris and Blaineley both exclaimed, before scowling at the other.

"Well, it's either both of you or nothing…" The man sighed.

Chris and Blaineley plastered on fake grins, and looked at each other seemingly "ecstatic"

"Great!" Blaineley chirped, through gritted teeth.

"Oh I just cannot wait…" Chris grinned, sarcasm oozing through each and every word.

The manager smiled. "Great, I'll just go get some paper work for you two to sign…" He trailed off, before going back into his office and shutting the door.

Blaineley and Chris both scowled at each other again, as they crossed their arms.

"I hate you." She grumbled.

"Don't worry, cellulite junky, the feeling is mutual." Chris scoffed, narrowing his eyes.

Yep. Definitely a lose-lose situation…

* * *

**Graaah, sorry this took so long and sorry it sucked so much! I got tired and my brain just went 'Blaaaah…' And there went any good ideas. I hope you enjoyed this, nonetheless.**

**Next Couple:**

**SierraxCody, HeatherxTrent, or EzekielxBridgette?**

**Please review, and I hope to have a faster update next time!**

**P.S. Reviews make me update faster… Just sayin'. ;)**

**OOH! And what do you think of my new display pic? I made it look more like me, and added a few things. When/if I make a Deviantart account, I might possibly take requests for avatars. :P**

**Alexex**


	7. Leather: Biggest Lie Ever

Hey guys! Long time, no update for this story… I apologize! I've been really busy with this play I'm in for school. It's pretty sketch. 0_o Anyway… I know this wasn't one of the options for you to vote for, but I want to experiment with this… I also don't think I'm going to be asking for any more voting, anymore. Feel free to leave suggestions for pairings though! :)

Next Pairing: LindsayxHeather

* * *

She kept coming back.

Heather had guessed that the blonde had more of learning disability than she thought. That, or she was completely insane.

Ivory fingers wove their way through raven strands, as Heather clamped her onyx eyes shut, and gnawed on her lower lip with aggravation. Maybe the bimbo had finally taken her warnings to heart, and gotten out of their tangled web of lies and lust like Heather desperately wished she hadn't gotten into in the first place. If everyone _else _knew her true sexuality, all the power, all the _fear _she'd stricken into their pathetic bodies would vanquish. And that's why she kept Lindsay her dirty little secret.

A soft, bitter, almost reminiscent laugh escaped her lips. She still remembered their first 'encounter' as clear as day.

_Lindsay stumbled into a dark, seemingly empty closet, her expression downtrodden and a small pout upon her rosy lips. Cherry, mixed with the overwhelming scent of alcohol lingered on her tongue, the remnants of the beverage she was drinking swishing around in the red plastic cup clutched in her hand. _

_She sighed as she pulled up the dangerously low v-neck sequin tank top she was sporting for the dance she was attending. The theme was Bright N' Tight. Fluorescent orange spandex short shorts stuck to her hips, bottom, and toned, tan thighs. Her top was most likely a size or two too small, but hey, who gave a damn? It was neon yellow, with silver sequins lining the bust. Multiple glow-in-the-dark neon bracelets hung around her wrists, and her previously perfect make up was smudge from sweat._

_Lindsay's pin straight golden locks had a slight curl to them, from the heat radiating off of the numerous grinding bodies and dancers, and Lindsay had to escape before another pervert tried to reach for another feel of her breasts, or ass. Twelve times in four songs was a bit much, even for Lindsay._

_Blue orbs of innocence; despite the image the body beneath them put out, began to adjust to the darkness. The outline of a hunched-over figure sparked her normally oblivious intrigue. Lindsay strained to hear any sounds above the earsplitting club music. Faint gasps, grunts, and sniffles entered her eardrums. Lindsay blinked a few times, before tentatively walking towards the source of the noise, her heart racing as the sounds became loud. Her shaky, tan, hand extended and landed on something smooth; something fleshy._

_The object beneath her jumped, startling Lindsay. It was a person. Coal eyes met sapphire ones. Lindsay immediately recognized her as Heather, for a few reasons. One- she was dressed provocatively. Two- as soon as soon as she'd realized that it was Lindsay, a fierce scowl lit up her features, washing away any traces of sadness. And three- she was gorgeous. _

"_You," she spat, enmity and authority clearly heard in her tone, and well above the music. "What are __**you **__doing here?"_

_Lindsay's eyes traveled to the floor, and she stepped backwards a bit, uncomfortably. She placed the cooler she'd been drinking down on a nearby ledge. Her right hand scratched her left arm awkwardly, as her high-pitched voice spilled out of her mouth._

"_I… I don't know…"_

_Heather rolled her eyes, as she forced herself to sit up straight and tall. She looked up at the blonde from where she was sitting with such maliciousness Lindsay could feel her knees tremble- though that could just was well be from the alcohol. Or their close proximity. She really didn't know which._

"_Oh, this is rich. You don't __**know. **__God, I knew you were stupid, but I didn't know you were that __**retarded**__." Heather sneered, standing up and beginning to circle her like a vulture preying a dead carcass. Her cruel eyes were locked on Lindsay's unfocussed ones, and Lindsay couldn't help but feel like she was about to pass out._

_A flash of anger flickered in her irises, and a scowl appeared on her beautiful face._

"_Hey! I'm not stupid, and I'm not retarded either! Like, why are you so mean to me! I thought we were friends!" Lindsay replied, curtly._

_Heather scoffed, and rolled her eyes once again. A hand was on one of her deadly curves, and the other hung loosely by her side. "Friend? Please, I __**have **__no friends- I __**need **__no friends! You're only fooling yourself, Lindsiot."_

"_Um, my name is Lindsay…" Lindsay said, unaware that the raven-haired viper had just insulted her. Heather's face scrunched up in distaste, and a hand flew up to her nose. She pinched the bridge of it, and let out an irritated sigh._

"_It's like talking to a brick wall. Although, a brick wall isn't a total pushover!" She mumbled._

_The two teenagers stood there in tense silence, despite the thunderous music in the background. Heather let out a curt breath, before brushing past Lindsay and towards the door of the closet. Her stomach did a flip as the skin where Heather came in contact with her burned and tingled. _

"_Wait!" Lindsay called out, before meekly looking down at the floor._

_Heather's shoulder's tensed and her hands clenched into fists. She slowly spun on her heel, sending the blonde bombshell an icy glare._

"_What?" She hissed._

"_Why…were you in here?" Lindsay squeaked._

_All previous hints of hatred and anger on Heather's porcelain face instantly disappeared with that single question. Lindsay could remark that she looked almost…vulnerable. Heather tried her hardest to send Lindsay a glare that told her to screw off, but it looked pained and forced._

"_None of your business!" She grumbled, but the venom behind it was weak; like she __**wanted **__Lindsay to make it her business._

_Lindsay closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, relying on every ounce of courage in her body to help her form this next sentence._

"_Well, let's make it my business, then." She said, calmly. Heather raised a challenging, but slightly impressed eyebrow. Lindsay swallowed the large lump in her dry throat, and opened her eyes. She walked up to Heather, and stared up into her wavering glare intensely._

"_You like, always think you're so tough; that's because you are. You think that you're the best; maybe that's because you are, and maybe not. But you also think that you're heartless; which is the biggest. Lie. Ever." She murmured._

_Heather's eyebrows rose at that comment, and the gravitational pull she had over the blonde that orbited her like a satellite tugged harder. Another silence fell over the pair of females. Lindsay let out a quietly, breathy laugh as her alcohol tainted breath entered Heather's nostrils; the mix of it, cherries, and Lindsay's Baby Phat perfume sparking a flame of lust within Heather she had never felt before._

_Before either knew what had happened, Heather's lips were roughly caressing Lindsay's shocked and barely responding ones. Her eyes were shut tight, and her hands were firmly gripping handfuls of Lindsay's luscious hair. Lindsay's initial state of shock withered away within the first few seconds, and she found herself weakly kissing back, and her eyes fluttering closed. _

_Heather drew back away a bit, shifting her hands to new positions; one on the back of Lindsay's neck, and the other on the small of her back. _

"_You call that a kiss, Lindsiot?" she growled hungrily, against the blondes rapidly bruising lips. "I guess Tyler's not only a failure with sports."_

_Lindsay knew this was wrong. Her and Heather weren't even __**friends. **__Hell, she knew Heather probably even hated her. That didn't stop her from moaning and beginning to return the amount of passion she was receiving. _

"_You know," Heather panted, pulling away from a brief moment. She narrowed her eyes, while Lindsay blinked to try and clear hers. "This doesn't change anything. I still find you the most infuriating thing to ever walk the earth."_

"_I know…" The blonde replied._

_Heather pursed her lips for a second, before her eyes flickered, as the events of the last couple minutes caught up with her. She glared venomously at the Lindsay, backing away towards the door._

"_Don't talk to me ever again! Ugh, this is your entire fault, look what you've __**done**__! This never happened, __**got it?**__" She yelled._

_Lindsay's gaze fell to the floor, and her expression returned to the same gloomy one that she had when she entered. She nodded mutely._

"_I can't even stand to look at you anymore." Heather huffed, exiting the closet and slamming the door behind her._

_Lindsay stood there alone. Used, and abused._

_That still didn't stop her from coming back._

As Heather was drawn out of her thoughts, she sighed and rested her chin in her palms. She really couldn't blame her if Lindsay chose not to come back this time. She was horrible.

"Hey," a soft voice chimed.

Heather's head snapped up, and her gaze fell onto the exact item of her troubles and pleasures. Before she could even prevent herself from doing so, Heather glared and spat out, "Ugh, what are _you _doing here? Don't you get it that I don't want to see your stupid face?"

Lindsay shrugged it off, used to Heather's tongue (in many _other _ways, as well) and entered. She walked right up to Heather's glaring and bitter face, and stared down softly. It took everything in Heather not to break right down, take the blonde in her arms and cry out incoherent apologies while her smooth fingers stroked her glossy hair.

However, Heather was tougher than that; she was _better _than that. Sometimes she even had a heart.

But it was hidden.

And it rested with the blonde bombshell that always came back.

* * *

Wow. That was my first ever attempt at femslash. And I personally think it _sucked. _They were soo OOC. Blargh. Well, I'd really appreciate it if you gave me a review, of your honest opinion! I hope it didn't suck too bad! Well, it's just about midnight and I have school tomorrow…ew. But, I don't regret staying up late to write this. I just think I needed to try something new. :P

By the way, THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEW SO FAR! 73 in 6 chapters? YOU GUYS ROCK! Keep 'em coming please!

Until next time! Hopefully it'll be a lot sooner!

~Alexex


	8. CoCo: Hot Caribbean Study

Greetings, fellow TDI nerds! What's crackalackin'? …Enjoy my use of lame 90's slang? I am ever so skilled. :3 Hehe, anyway, sorry for the lack of updates lately, I've been busy with this stupid pamphlet we have to do. Blah. Soooo, now I shall attempt to try and update more because I don't have much homework. Besides this stupid pamphlet. -_- Oh! And I have recently found a new love for CodyxCourtney, thanks to StrixMoonwings 'Candy For Your Thoughts?' fic. I AM IN LOVE WITH THE PAIRING NOW. Expect more of it from me, they're up to number two now. ;P A slight heads up; this is going to be slightly out of character.

Next Pairing: CodyxCourtney

* * *

"…And beavers and rats just can't be in the same mammal family. Why? Well, for one, their bone structures are COMPLETELY different-" Harold wheezed, as he leaned closer to his best friend to show him the labeled diagrams of the skeletal systems of both the beaver and the rat. But Cody wasn't listening. His bright blue eyes were transfixed on a brunette girl, with a tanned and freckled complexion. She was fishing around in her locker for her necessities for the next class, which happened to be Biology with him. Cody could feel all his surroundings start to fade away, the only vivid thing remaining being the brown haired beauty.

Her hair was as smooth as silk, and her hands were always soft. Even when they were balled up into fists when she was angry. She wore these clothes that were always designer, and elegant, framing her nice figure. The only bad thing about her that Cody could think of was that she had a temper that was as deadly as a tornado, when aggravated.

Harold, noticing that Cody had zoned out yet again, staring aimlessly at the hotheaded girl of his dreams, stopped mid sentence. He constantly questioned Cody's sanity, for chasing after such a lethal woman; one that threatened his own life routinely, yet oddly enough, never once did so to Cody. Then again, the boy did have delusional crushes almost _annually_.

In freshman year, he had followed the buxom blonde Junior Lindsay Watson around like a lost puppy; although, who wouldn't? The girl had graduated surprisingly enough, with grants for fashion design. She occasionally appears in the gossip Magazine 'Star Stalker' in tanning oil ads. Despite her looks, Lindsay was the dumbest girl both of them had ever met. She never did learn their names. ("Harry and Caleb, is it?")

The following year, his affections landed on the secretive Goth loner who went by the name of Gwen. She didn't really have anything going for her, except for alluring eyes, and a great personality once you got to know her. She had made it clear to Cody that they would _never_ be together. Ever. But Cody ignored it, and continued to follow her around. It was only until she had proclaimed her love for Trent Smith at semi formal in front of everyone, and threatened to take out a restraining order against Cody if he didn't leave them be, did he get the message. ("Seriously, Cody! You are like an annoying little brother! A _very _annoying little brother! So anything you try on me would be classified as incest.")

And now, he was crushing madly on Courtney "Winters" Callahan. Many called her Courtney "Winters" due to her frigid tone, and how nasty she could be, like frostbite. She was extremely attractive; everyone knew that. But the one teensy, tiny thing Harold couldn't wrap his brain around was _why _Cody liked her. She was the meanest girl Harold had ever met, next to Heather. But even then, at least Heather admitted that she was mean. Courtney just pretended she was innocent of any crime, which was what pissed off a lot of the school population. ("Vote for Courtney! …Or suffer social suicide, your choice; care for a 'Noah is Gay' cupcake?")

Cody's eyes stayed glued on Courtney as she continued to collect her things for the next class, totally unaware that he was creepily staring at her as if he was Gollum and she was the ring. He could feel his lips spread into a large, dreamy, buck-toothed smile as a blush crept onto his cheeks when he saw Courtney pull out a tube of lip gloss and begin to apply it to her puckering lips.

"Cody, droolage alert." Harold pointed out, to his entranced friend.

Cody shook his head and snapped out of his trance, and quickly wiped the back of his mouth with the back of his hand, blushing madly.

"H-how long was I out for?" He questioned, meekly.

"Nearly three minutes; that's a new record! Gosh Cody, you didn't even stare at Gwen this much." Harold exclaimed, raising his eyebrows. Cody blushed an even darker shade of red. Harold and Cody both turned their attention back to Courtney, and watched as she shut her locker with a clang. She began to walk down the hall with her head held high, and to Cody's pleasure, she was heading in their direction.

"Dude! She-she's coming this way! What do I say?" Cody whispered feverishly to Harold, not taking his eyes off of Courtney. Harold rolled his eyes and sighed, before grabbing both of Cody's scrawny shoulders, forcing him to stare into his eyes. Harold withdrew his left hand, before slapping Cody square in the face. His head snapped to the side, his jaw dropped, and his eyes widened in alarm. Cody stared back at Harold in utter disbelief, as he blinked stupidly and rubbed his tender cheek.

"What the heck was _that _for!" He cried.

"I learned it at Therapist Steve's Therapy class," Harold replied, factually. "But that's not the point. The point is, is that you've been crushing on Courtney ever since Gwen flaked you off in front of everyone at semi formal in sophomore year. And I'm sick of watching you stare Courtney her all the time! If she was your girlfriend, at least it wouldn't be as creepy." He shuddered. "Anyway, you are going to go ask her to be lab partners for Biology before someone else asks her. Just picture it! That's probably how most marriages started out! Being project partners. Before long, you'll fly her down to the Caribbean and make wild, passionate, love to her, then die a hot, sexy, naked, death!"

Cody gave Harold a weirded out expression as his face flushed. Courtney was drawing nearer, and nearer. He looked back for a quick second, getting a thumbs up from Harold, before he swallowed the large lump in his throat. He shakily walked up to Courtney, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. Courtney rose both her eyebrows as she stared down into Cody's rounded eyes.

"Uh, Cody, is it?" She asked.

Cody nodded vigorously, his cheeks flashing red. He opened his mouth, before shutting it as nothing more than a squeak came out. Normally, if this were Gwen, he'd be laying on the Codemeister charm. But Courtney wasn't Gwen.

"Uhm…uh… I uh… Courtney… I was uh, wondering if… Biology… um…" Cody stammered, nervously.

"Ah yes, Biology, we have that next period, right?" She quipped, allowing a small smile. Cody nearly wet his pants.

"Yes," he squeaked. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "And I was wondering…uh…if you'd be… my… lab partner?" He mumbled, barely audible over the chatter in the crowded hallway.

Courtney furrowed her brow, thrown off by his request, but she was too polite to recline. Also, if she played her cards right, she might have his vote, _and _be able to get the techno-geek to make her some new fliers for her campaign for a cheap price.

"Sure Cody, that'd be wonderful. Now, is that it?" Courtney replied, in the sweetest voice she could muster.

"Uh…" Cody trailed off, meeting Harold's encouraging eyes and smile. "I was also…kinda…sorta…wondering, if you'd um… Want to… uh…"

"Hot. Wild. Sex, Cody! _Caribbean_ sex!" Harold whispered frantically, only so the two of them could hear.

"Courtney I…" He muttered, keeping his eyes on the floor to avoid Courtney's eyes burning into his forehead. She was starting to get a bit annoyed now.

"Okay, spit it out, I have to get to class. Courtney Callahan is _never _tardy!" She said frostily, a scowl painted across her face.

"I-I… I…" Cody stuttered, beginning to sweat. He looked up and saw the scowling face of the brunette, and winced noticeably.

Courtney's eyes narrowed as she pursed her lips. "Spit it _out!_"

"I… I WANT TO HAVE HOT, CARIBBEAN STUDY WITH YOU!" Cody yelled, grabbing the attention of not only Courtney and Harold, but the rest of the people in the hallways too.

Courtney blinked a few times. Harold face palmed. Cody nearly wet his pants for the second time. The other people in the hall burst out in a chorus of laughter, close to wetting themselves as well from all the laughing. Courtney's tanned face turned bright red, from embarrassment or rage, one couldn't tell, as she bit down hard on her bottom lip and squeezed her eyes shut. Cody didn't dare look at her, as he blushed as well.

After a few moments, Courtney glared ferociously; but not at Cody. She clenched her jaw and turned towards the crowded hallway.

"Alright, _alright, _keep it moving! Nothing to see, here!" She shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. The crowd slowly dispersed, murmuring between themselves as Courtney lowered her arms, hunched over, frowned, and blew her bangs out of her dark eyes.

Cody was still in shock from his outburst, _and _the fact that Courtney had defended him. He stared at her bewildered as she stared at him inquisitively.

"Th-thanks, Courtney." He mumbled, blushing profusely.

Courtney nodded awkwardly and cleared her throat she she waved him off, "No problem. Now… Uhm… What?" She replied, with a light chuckle.

"I was wondering if maybe…after school…we could like, study or something?" He asked, bashfully.

Courtney blinked again, shocked by his proposal, yet somewhat flattered. He was adorable, that was for sure. He was so naïve and innocent, and his eyes and gap toothed smile made him look like a cute little kid.

"You mean like hang out?" She questioned. Cody nodded. Courtney felt a small smile twitch on her lips. "…Huh. I've never legitimately 'hung out' before. Maybe it's because I'm so busy with cheerleading, student council, choir, volleyball, consort band, not to mention the Competitive Arts Committee…" She listed, before trailing off when she saw the look on Cody's face. Her smile softened as she pulled out her PDA, and sent out a quick email. "But…I guess I could skip. Just this once."

Cody's face lit up like the first of July. He grinned a large, gap-toothed grin and gasped excitedly. "R-really? You mean it?" He asked excitedly. Courtney nodded.

"Mhmm," she hummed, "now where does one usually go when wanting to… 'hang out'?" Courtney questioned, using air quotes. Cody's eager grin didn't waver, as he swung his arm around the brunette, leaning upwards to get to her level. Courtney raised an eyebrow, but the smile still lingered on her lips as they started to head down the hall towards the Biology lab.

"Oh, heh, _anywhere _really. At the library, at the park, at the mall… In my room… You know, I've got this sweet crash pad, it's _perfect _for make out sessions." He smirked, holding up his free hand, inviting Courtney to visualize with him. Courtney rolled her eyes playfully, as the smile on her face dropped a little.

"Don't push it." She warned, lightheartedly.

"Right." Cody gulped, smiling nervously.

"So, tell me more about this 'hanging out' concept…" Courtney requested, changing the subject before it got too awkward. Her eyes stared off into the distance thoughtfully.

"Oh, it's really fun! We could play video games…" He offered, before wincing nervously when he noticed the expression she sent him. "Or-or…not! We could, heh, um… Just talk?"

Courtney clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth in amazement as she smiled. "And…this is the sort of things…friends do?"

"Uh-huh."

Courtney's eyes lowered, and she pursed her lips. "Hmm, I've never really had an actual _friend _before."

Cody felt a pang in his heart as his brow furrowed. "Well that's strange. I consider us…friends." He blushed.

Courtney smiled genuinely, before she leaned down and placed a hand under Cody's chin, lifting it upwards so she could kiss his pale cheek. She slid out from under his lanky arm, and smirked lightly as he stared at her, totally dazed.

"I'll save you a seat…_friend._" She grinned, before slowly continuing down the hall, giggling quietly.

Cody gaped after her, his eyes the size of dinner plates, and his face crimson red. He smiled goofily as his hand gingerly touched the place where she'd kissed him. He could still feel it tingling. Cody waited a few seconds, still in shock, before breaking out into a wild happy dance. He jumped up and down and waved his arms randomly, shutting his eyes in concentration as his grin broadened.

"YES! YES! YES! YES! _YESSSS!_" He cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

"You know… I'm still here."

Cody froze as his eyes shot open, and his face blanked. His eyes met Courtney's and watched as she suppressed an oncoming fit of amused and flattered giggles. Cody blushed even redder than before, and lowered his arms as he sent her a meek smile.

"I-I… I'll catch up with you in a sec." He squeaked.

"I'll be waiting…" Courtney called. She sent him a wink, before turning on her heel and strutting down the length of the hall, her hips swaying the entire way.

Cody blinked a few times, frozen to his spot. Courtney… had winked… at _him. _

If he weren't so shocked and about to die of happiness, he _definitely _would've peed his pants.

* * *

Well, here's my first attempt at CoCo. And how fitting as I sip a cup of hot chocolate! :) Like it? Hate it? PLEASE EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS IN A REVIEW! It'd make _me _pee my pants! …Not really, I'm potty trained like a big girl. ;)

Just a heads up: For those participating in my OC fic, I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! Ugh, I didn't mean to. But, it IS being worked on, do not fret!

So, once again, please review! Peace out!

~Alexex


	9. Gwuncan: Just Some Sentimental Crap

…Don't kill me! I have to, okay? I just HAVE to! Fanon/Crack wouldn't be complete without it! I'm sorry, but… I kind of don't hate DunGwen anymore. I was a young, immature child when I hated it, because I despise change, but... They are kinda cool together. On certain terms. Like, NOT cheating terms. Anywho, you DxC fans will want to burn me at the stake, and you DxG fans will probably be like, 'Whoa! Hey! Awesome!'… So… yeah, on with it, I guess.

Next pairing: DuncanxGwen

* * *

Gwen was proud to be where she was now. Sure, things were a bit rough earlier on, with the whole Trent mess, and then later, the Courtney mess, but… Lady luck was _finally_ on her side!

Wasn't she? I mean, Gwen now had an _amazing _boyfriend who loved her deeply, who _also _happened to be her best friend. Life couldn't get any better. The two were made for each other, and that was that.

Gwen let out a content sigh, as the warm, tropical breeze ruffled her short black and teal locks. Her eyes fluttered closed and she reclined further back into reclining chair she was lying on, under the comforting shade of an umbrella. After an especially difficult season, Gwen was at long last, relaxed.

"Would you _look _at the two of them together? It's nauseating! That should be _me _with Duncan, not Gothica! You know, if her goth girl hooks weren't so far into him, he'd still be with me! It's common knowledge."

Gwen's eased expression broke out into an irritated scowl as she lazily opened one of her dark eyes. Sure enough, Courtney was glaring enviously at her, her eyes filled with the deepest loathing. Her bathing suit hugged each one of her clenched muscles as her arms stayed crossed across her chest, her shoulders tense and tight.

"Well, that was a relaxing five seconds," Gwen muttered, stretching out her arms above her head. She sighed tiredly, and rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands. Gwen heard the _click_-_clack_ of Courtney's high heel wedges against the pavement of the pool grounds grow louder, as Courtney stopped and stood about ten feet away from her. Gwen turned and sent Courtney an incredulous look, as if saying 'Oh _come _on! Get over it already!', to which Courtney's frosty glare responded, 'I am going to kill you. Brutally.' Gwen rolled her eyes as Courtney harrumphed, before breaking out into a smile. She eagerly tried to peer around the hotheaded CIT, as the latter sent her a confused, haughty gaze. Walking towards them, was none other than Duncan, wearing his swim trunks, and his signature red high-tops traded for a pair flip-flop sandals; much more appropriate for sitting poolside. In his hands were two glasses with tropical looking ice-cold smoothies with party umbrellas suspended festively within the contents. Courtney spun around just as Duncan passed right by her, a mixture between anger and hurt clouding over her tanned face. If she hadn't have been so rotten to Gwen after learning of her and Duncan's secret kiss, she might have even felt bad for the girl. But that guilt was long gone after seeing what a huge bitch the girl was.

"Hey hotstuff, how's it goin'?" Duncan greeted, sliding into the lawn chair beside her and handed her a drink. Gwen smiled at him as he flashed her a wink and smirk. Just seeing that he hadn't crawled back to Courtney like both girls had assumed made her heart flutter.

"Oh, fine I guess." Gwen sighed, rolling her eyes and smiling in a lopsided manner, before taking a sip of the smoothie he had gotten her. Duncan raised one side of his eyebrow, clearly not buying her bullshit. That's one of the main things that separated him from Trent. He could sense easily if something was wrong, while Trent gets a little…foolish, for lack of a better word. Gwen let out another sigh, and pursed her lips. "Okay, you're going to think I sound like _such_ a girl right now, but… I dunno, Courtney's just being such a…a…" She trailed off, trying to find a word that wasn't too offensive, in case Courtney might be eavesdropping.

"Brat? Priss? Bitch? Psychotic raging ex-girlfriend?" Duncan suggested, his smirk widening. Despite herself, Gwen let out a soft chuckle, before playfully punching the delinquent in the shoulder.

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." She half-smiled, before sighing. "I don't regret our friendship, and I don't regret our kiss." Gwen stated defiantly.

"That's good to know, I guess. Don't wanna be kissin' anyone who'll regret it every time I do so." Duncan snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Would you let me finish? I do regret losing Courtney as a friend, though."

Duncan nearly spit up the fruity beverage he was casually sipping on, as his teal eyes widened with shock. "You? Friends with _Courtney? _Ha, ha, very funny."

Gwen sent Duncan a warning look, that was nowhere as frightening as the one Courtney sent, but Duncan did admit she was getting there. Gwen sighed, and smirked slightly.

"Well, it was oddly more pleasant than her trying to rip out my vocal chords every five seconds. That's beside the point. What can we do to just… Get her to-" Gwen froze mid-sentence as her eyes landed on Courtney, who was chatting snobbishly with a cameraman obviously taping post-season footage. A scowl tugged on her lips, as she registered what the tanned brunette was up to.

"…Of course I don't believe _any _of the final three deserved to have gotten as far as they did, I mean, _come on! _Heather? Really? Alejandro may have used some of his clearly superior Latin, _sexy _skill to make it, but _Cody? _The only way he could have made it was on dumb luck and the fact that that creepy stalker Sierra was throwing herself at every danger _for _him. Can you talk about desperate?" Courtney huffed, smirking slightly into the camera, as it blinked red, showing that it was recording every word she said.

"Oho," Gwen heard Duncan laugh, as he glared at his former flame; Courtney kindly returned the notion. The cameraman focused the shot on him and Gwen. "That's rich, coming from you. I seem to recall you flirting with _Tyler _to try and make me jealous. _Tyler!_" He emphasized, as if the fact was an incriminating offense. And to Duncan, it probably was. Courtney's face reddened, as Gwen tittered silently to herself, before both her and Duncan took long sips of their beverages.

The camera focused back on Courtney, as she made as if she hadn't heard Duncan's remark. She cleared her throat, plastering on an impassive expression. "I mean, the final three could have been Neanderthal, _Gothie_ and me, you know. But, as soon as I figured out that they were back-stabbing lying jerk-faces, I saw that it was simply not plausible." She commented airily. Both the unnaturally hair-coloured teens glared and scowled, obviously annoyed by Courtney's words. The brunette cleared her throat once again, and conducted an imaginary band as she began to sing, much to the couples' visible irritation.

"_Ohhh, Duncan has legs that are shaped just like twigs, Gwen is as ill-shaped as a fast-rotting fig! Put them together and what does that bring? Lies and dexterity of disabled pigs!_" She grinned, continuing to conduct as she shut her eyes, clearly enjoying herself.

Gwen turned to face Duncan, who was scowling angrily at this display. Gwen sighed and placed her drink on a nearby table, frowning as Courtney prepared for another verse.

"_All… I… Did was try and get Duncan to do, his best, and what does he do? Rip my heart out of my chest! And Gwen helped by stomping it with her big ugly boots! Which are tacky as her black and disgusting teal roots!_"

Duncan shut his eyes and clenched his jaw, clearly fighting a mental battle not to strangle the CIT, as Gwen tried her best to ignore the offensive lyrics.

"_And lastly, let's see… There is so much to say… But I shall save it for another day. Duncan's a hitch, on any sane person's plans! And Gwen is a BITCH, who really needs… Aaaaa… TAAAAAAAAAN- __**AAACCKK!**_" As Courtney's final note reverberated, a size ten male sandal flew threw the air, hitting her square in the face, and knocked her off her feet as she tumbled into the pavement.

Gwen tried her hardest not to laugh, but her darned sadistic side got the better of her, and she giggled foolishly. Before she realized what was going on, a pair of warm, strawberry flavoured lips met her blueberry tasting ones, causing her eyes to fly open, before closing blissfully. Duncan's lips molded against his as his hand landed securely on the bare small of her back, sending a few shivers up her spine, as it was cold from the drink he had been holding. All too soon, Duncan pulled away, and smiled at her apologetically, as Gwen's pale cheeks flushed, as she returned the smile. This, was peace. This was relaxation.

"Sorry," he mumbled

"Do my ears deceive me, or is _Duncan_ actually apologizing for something? I thought it was against his alleged 'badass' code." Gwen teased, smirking lightheartedly.

Duncan smirked back, lightly punching her fair arm, sending her a warning look. "Hey. It's not alleged, ever seen someone as sexy and badass as me? Thought so." He grinned cheekily, taking her blush as a response. "Naw, I'm apologizing for Songbird over there," he continued, his smile dropping slightly, as he glanced over to the groaning brunette. She sat up, scowling and rubbing her tender freckled nose, before sending both him and Gwen a heated glare.

"That, is _assault_ via projectile!" She shrieked, clenching her free hand into a fist and shaking it vengefully. "I could sue you for that!"

Gwen and Duncan rolled their eyes in unison, before focusing their attention on each other once again. "That was an empty threat, don't worry." Duncan waved off, in an undertone after receiving such threats weekly for two years straight. "Anyway, yeah… I knew I wanted to go out with you, and… I kinda jumped into it a little too soon, and well… I knew that _this_," he explained, gesturing wildly to the grumbling and icily glaring Courtney, "was unavoidable, but… This was _not _what I had in mind." Duncan grumbled.

Gwen stared at him, her brow furrowed and her deep dark eyes darting up and down, examining his face silently. A few moments passed, and Duncan was starting to feel a bit uneasy by the intensity of her gaze. Gwen leaned in, and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, her chin grazing the hairs of his goatee. Duncan furrowed his brow, taken aback by her gentleness. He'd never experienced something so soft. With previous girlfriends, Courtney in particular, it was always rough and needy, and filled with lust.

"Uh, what was…that for?" Duncan asked, awkwardly.

Gwen smiled a genuine, loving smile; one that Duncan had only seen a handful of times with Courtney. It was especially prominent in her beautiful, alluring eyes, which were as dark as the charcoal she sketched with.

"For standing by me." She said.

"…What?" He repeated, even more confused.

"I dunno," Gwen shrugged, "just thought I'd delve into some sentimental crap, seeing as you like it so much, Mr. Carved Wooden Skull." She smirked.

Duncan returned the favour, raising an eyebrow amusedly. "Think so, Ms. Alien Chunks Necklace?" He retorted.

"I believe I do." Gwen grinned, winking humorously. Duncan chuckled, and swung an arm around her shoulders, as she snuggled into his muscular chest.

"You're alright, Pasty. You're alright." He remarked, impressed.

"Because that means _so much _coming from you," she giggled, as Duncan scowled playfully.

"Shut up." He muttered.

"Make me," Gwen replied, defiantly, her obsidian eyes shining like embers after a long lasting blaze. Duncan sent her an authentic smile, leaning in and pressing his lips against hers. Gwen wrapped her arms around his neck drawing him closer to her, as the Hawaiian sun lowered in the sky, casting long shadows over the few cast members who rested poolside, or swam in the pristine pool, enjoying themselves and laughing.

Finally, Gwen was relaxed.

* * *

Sorry for the failure of epic proportions that was this Gwuncan oneshot, but I haven't written either of them, let alone together in FOREVER. So yeah… Kinda sucky, I know. But for my first proper DxG, I don't think it was too horrible!

Ooh! Fun fact! Did you know that the whole Gwen/Duncan/Courtney singing-sandal-in-face thing is actually based on a bonus scene in… I forget what country and language. Sorry. -_- It made me angry because it was cruel to Courtney, but she did kinda deserve it. :/

Anyway, please review with your feedback! Did it suck, which I'm pretty sure it did? Did you enjoy it? Express those thoughts via review!

We're also reaching our tenth chapter Encore Special! What is the Encore Special? Did I not mention this before? Well, maybe it's 'cause I just thought of it now. The Tenth Chapter Encore Special is when depending on votes via review, or a poll I'm going to post on my profile on a couple I've already done in this collection, be it Trindsay, Geourtney, or even Gwuncan I do a special one shot on it, sort of like a reprise, extending it into the near future, or distant future! Feel free to vote! :D

See ya next time, kiddies! Even though most of you are probably older than me… XD

~Alexex


	10. Tenth Chapter Encore Special!

Is this late beyond belief? You better believe it. Do we finally have a clear winner? YES! And I'm so glad it's this pairing! :D Well, onwards I guess! But, here it is and here's the Tenth Chapter Encore Special!

_~CoCo Edition~_

* * *

"What are the five stages of mitosis in chronological order?"

"Um… Interphase… Prophase… M-metaphase…?"

"Yes, keep going."

Cody's robin-egg blue eyes narrowed in concentration, as Courtney's stayed glued to the Biology textbook resting in her lap. Cody still couldn't believe a hot chick was in his house.

In his _bedroom._

Sitting next to him, her _knee _up against his, on his racecar bed.

Boy, the boys in the comic-book club would worship him as their new king!

Courtney, noticing the distant, and slightly unnerving smile painted across Cody's lips, raised a perfectly waxed eyebrow and nudged him with her elbow.

"Are you….are you okay?" She asked.

Cody, pulled out of his mental dance of jubilation, cracked a lop-sided smile and ran a hand through his chestnut brown locks, flashing her a weak thumbs up. "I'm A-okay, heh…" The brunet chuckled nervously. Courtney blinked, her long lashes brushing against her tan freckled cheeks, before shrugging.

"If you say so. Anyways, continue." She prompted.

"What?"

The CIT let out a sigh, scowling slightly before regaining her composure. That was the third time in the past fifteen minutes that they've had to stop because Cody kept losing focus.

"You know, Cody, we can move onto something else if you want…" Courtney offered, her voice gentle. She was kind of hoping he'd say yes, his distant and delayed answers were starting to annoy her.

Cody winced. "Sorry," he apologized, before pushing up the sleeves of his button up shirt and flashing his signature gap-toothed grimace. Courtney couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay, well we've pretty much covered Bio, why don't we move onto optics?" The tan skinned brunette suggested.

Cody, not a huge fan of optics, bit his lip and shrugged halfheartedly, earning a sigh from Courtney.

"Physics?"

"Meh…" Cody frowned childishly. He hated physics even more than optics.

"Chemistry?"

Cody's face lit up with a devilish smirk, and he was surprised the stereotypical _Ding! Ding! Ding! _when people answered right on quiz shows didn't sound. Courtney raised an eyebrow, as Cody shuffled close to her so their knees were locked together.

"Perfect idea Courtney," said Cody, his voice smooth. His smirk widened as he placed a hand on her thigh. "Why don't we study ours…?"

Courtney was slightly amused by Cody's bravery and clever remark; had this been some creep like Duncan, she would've broken his hand by now. But then again, she was still Courtney, so she sent Cody a weak glare.

"Move the hand, or lose it." She threatened, her voice clipped and shrouded with venom.

Cody, noticing the danger signs took a silent gulp, before meekly smirking, feeling cheeky. He began to slide his hand up and down her thigh, smiling slyly. Courtney's eyes widened slightly at how nice his caress was, before she glared at the pipsqueak again, her cheeks faintly red.

"You horny little twit," she muttered under her breath, shaking her head condescendingly. Cody chuckled nervously, before sighing and removing his hand from Courtney's leg. The two looked away from each other awkwardly, Courtney staring aimlessly at the textbook and Cody at his comic book collection.

The awkward tension was slightly smothering, and Courtney bit her bottom lip as she read the same line about benign tumors for the fifth time. The scent of Cleaver body spray wafted through the room and it made her slightly dizzy. Courtney gnawed on her bottom lip until the flesh threatened to rip beneath her teeth. Lips swollen and bruised, Courtney let out a quiet sigh, trying her best to cope with the awkwardness.

On the other hand, Cody still couldn't believe _Courtney _was in his bedroom. Alone with him. And not unconscious and tied up to the headboard of his bed, like in many of the wet dreams he's had about this particular situation… The mere thought made him-

Cody's pale face paled considerably making him appear almost ghostly, as he felt his jeans tighten considerably. His blue eyes widened slightly, as he quickly placed his notebook in his lap. Courtney remained oblivious to Cody's struggle and let out a sigh as she tapped her gel pen against the textbook.

Cody bit his lip, trying to mentally bring down his 'excitement'.

_Okay, _he thought, _dead-puppies-world-war-two-Chris-Mclean-in-drag… Okay, I'm good. _Cody finished off his thoughts with a shudder.

As Cody continued to stare off into space with a vacant expression, Courtney stared at him with a weirded out expression. She'd never seen anyone space out so often, except for maybe Geoff in math class. She snapped her fingers in front of Cody's face a tiny scowl on her face as Cody came back to earth.

"Cody! _Hello?_" She said.

"S-sorry!" The brunet squeaked in reply, blushing. "I'm just… this isn't… I've never… I-I''mreallynervousand-" Cody let out, his mouth going a mile a minute.

"Whoa, whoa!" Courtney cut in, overwhelmed. She blinked her charcoal eyes quickly as she tried to soak in what the sweater vest-adorning boy said. Cody's face reddened even more, as Courtney's gaze locked with his. Her brow furrowed patronizingly and she frowned minutely. "Cody… This whole studying situation is so we can better our friendship…right? Well, start a friendship." She clarified, tapping her chin. "And that's what I value. Our _friendship. _The bond between two _friends,_ strictly _friendly _interaction…" Courtney ploughed on.

Cody's blue eyes lowered, downtrodden. The dreaded _friend _zone… Cody's lips curled down into a small frown, as he thought about how delusional he really was. How could he have thought that he had a chance with _Courtney Callahan? _She was one of the hottest girls in school! And he was one of the nerdiest.

Noticing his saddened expression, Courtney's frown deepened and she placed a hand on his right knee sympathetically.

"Now come on, let's act professional now; I believe there's a chapter on optics with our name on it." She remarked, rubbing his kneecap with her thumb.

Cody could feel himself starting to get excited again, and he quickly jerked away from her, letting out a small yelp. Courtney raised an eyebrow, while Cody's face turned red.

"U-uh, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom… Uh, why don't you go down to the kitchen and grab yourself a snack or something." Cody said, his vocal pitch wavering with nervousness.

Courtney skeptically removed her hand and inched towards the edge of the bed, sliding the textbook off of her lap and onto the bedspread. "O…kay…" She said, shrugging. Courtney got up, and started to walk out of the room. Cody waited until he heard her starting to descend down the stairs, before sprinting into the hall and then into the bathroom. He shut and locked the door, before rushing over to the sink. He splashed some cold water into his face before glaring at his reflection in the mirror.

"Ugh, Cody, calm yourself!" He demanded.

Of course, that didn't happen and he could feel the inseam of his jeans become that much tighter and he let out an angry growl before pulling out his old hand-me-down cell phone. Cody had no idea what to do about his situation, so he knew what he had to do. He needed to call the man with all the answers.

He hit speed dial number two, and the phone rang twice before he was greeted with a wheezy "_Hello?_"

"Harold, I need your help." Cody mumbled.

"_Cody? What's up?_"

"Courtney and I are in my house alone and despite how much I want her and how she stuck me in the friend zone, I can't stop popping awkward boners around her and it's _really _embarrassing!" He exclaimed quietly all in one breath, his blush deepening.

"_Awkward boners, huh? I know exactly what you need to do. You need to do __**exactly **__what I say, is that clear?_"

"Yes," said Cody reluctantly.

"_Grab some towels, duct tape, and ice cubes._" Harold instructed.

Cody raised an eyebrow at the ginger's odd request, before grabbing a towel, pulling a roll of duct tape out from under the counter and biting his lip. "Harold, I'm in the bathroom and Courtney's in the kitchen, I'm going to have to go without ice… It'll look suspicious if I go get ice for no apparent reason." Cody explained.

Harold drew in a breath with a wheeze, before replying. "_Cold water might work, but probably not as well… Okay, so turn the tap on and pool cold water into your underpants._"

Cody bit his lip, already dreading calling Harold in the first place. "Alright, I'm putting you on speaker." He informed. Cody hit speakerphone, before unzipping his pants and turning on the tap. He pooled cold water into his hands, before shutting his eyes tightly and bracing himself for the inevitable. His breath hitched in the back of his throat as he quickly did the deed, shivering.

Harold, having heard Cody's yelp of discomfort continued his 'Anti-Awkward-Boner' training. "_Okay, next; dry yourself as best you can with a towel. Then, put tape across your nether regions to prevent any more… um, for lack of a better word… rising._"

Cody blew out an aggravated breath as he fiddled with the tape, and his eyes narrowed. "Harold, I'm not a freaking soufflé! This isn't working, I-I feel stupid!" The brunet clenched his legs together and placed a palm on his forehead.

"_You're going to need ice…_"

Cody groaned, contemplating whether or not he should get ice… He decided to go get some, and pulled up his pants, shifting his weight uncomfortably at the feeling of the tape in is pants. "I'll be right back…" He muttered to Harold, before sighing and waddling down the hallway and towards the stairway. He awkwardly headed down the stairs and nervously made his way to the kitchen. He poked his head inside the doorway, and his eyes nearly jumped off of his face and he could feel all his blood rush south and the tape barely restrain himself.

Courtney was staring off into the distance, her eyes lidded and her lips plump, eating _strawberries._

Cody quickly aborted his mission, barely able to conceal the whimper he let out involuntarily.

"Oh _come_ _on!_" He cried quietly as he waddled up the stairs, before marching into the bathroom as shut the door. The door swung on its hinge, but stayed open slightly, but it went unnoticed by Cody. He unzipped his pants and slipped slightly, but regained his balance. It was then that he realized that he had left the tap on and the water had overflowed and down onto the floor. Cody groaned before reaching out for towels and flinging them onto the ground. Harold, having heard his buddy's return spoke.

"_Hey! Did you get the ice?_" He asked.

"No!" Cody replied, before clenching his jaw and grabbing one end of the strip of duct tape, shutting his eyes tight as he prepared to rip it off. His eyes clenched shut even more as he pulled on the tape, squealing slightly as it didn't budge. Cody's face reddened in frustration as he continued to try and pull the tape off of his boxers. The constant pulling wasn't helping his awkward boner situation at all, in fact; all it did was add fuel to the fire.

Cody shouted out in anger, before ripping open the shower curtain and turning it on, making sure the water would be ice cold. "Maybe I have time for a quick cold shower?" he murmured, before going and shutting off the phone without saying goodbye to Harold and he got ready to pull down is underwear.

Before he could, Cody slipped on the wet tiles, and tripped over a towel and let out a gasp as his eyes flew open. "GAH!" He exclaimed, as he fell butt first into the tub, letting out another cry as cold water instantly soaked him.

Within seconds, Courtney barged into the room, her brow furrowed in confusion and concern. She looked around at the disastrous mess, and Cody's cheeks flared bright red as he desperately wished the floor would swallow him up whole. He averted his eyes and buried his face in his hands, embarrassment radiating off of his drenched body in waves.

Courtney continued to stare down at him confused as to why he was wedged in the bathtub while water rained down on him from the showerhead, with his pants around his pants around his ankles and tape all over his crotch, and why the bathroom was a complete mess.

She kicked the towel to the side, before rushing over and shutting off the tap and sitting on the toilet next to the tub. "Cody, what the hell happened?" She asked.

Cody sighed and slid his hands down his face, and frowned. It's not like he had any more dignity to lose…

"C-Courtney," he muttered, peeking out from between his fingers shyly. "I really, _really _like you."

Courtney blinked, tucking a few brown strands of hair behind her ear. "Cody, I…" She said, flustered.

Cody let out a bitter chuckle, resting his chin against his knuckle forlornly. "And I am a total _idiot_ and asked for _Harold's _help on a very… big problem, and it just totally backfired and ruined this entire afternoon for me." Cody paused for a moment, before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing.

"Cody…" Courtney let out with wide understanding eyes as she slid over to the edge of the tub, not caring about the fact that it was soaking wet and drenched her skirt the moment she sat down.

"And-and not even just that, I probably ruined any chance of you ever liking me, and you probably think I'm just some creepy geek!" The brunet ploughed on, melodramatically.

"_Cody…_" Courtney said with a bit more emphasis, inching towards him a bit more to him, but Cody remained oblivious.

"Which I'm totally not, and it's all just… why does life… IT'S JUST NOT FAIR AND-"

"_CODY!_" The brunette exclaimed, slipping down butt first into the tub beside him, instantly getting soaked. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them, leaning against him. Cody blinked a few times, his face reddening faintly. He wrapped a tentative arm around her shoulders, totally preparing for the world to spontaneously combust, just to screw with him, but was surprised to find that it didn't, and that Courtney instead snuggled up to him, tucking her head into the croon of his neck.

"So… what are we going to study next?" Cody asked, resting his head against Courtney's as his eyes fluttered shut.

Courtney let out a quiet hum as her eyes drifted closed too, her fingers brushing against Cody's cold and wet ones. They tangled together. "Chemistry." The brunette deduced, her voice quiet.

Neither of them got up, staying like that a while.

Courtney turned her head, a smile gracing her lips as she laughed quietly. "You look absolutely ridiculous," she pointed out.

Cody smiled weakly, blushing. "I know…" He murmured.

"But…" The brunette continued, "absolutely adorable too."

Cody grinned softly, and pulled her closer to him. "Thank you," he murmured.

"You're wel-"

"No," he cut in, smiling at her gratefully. "Not for that. For giving me a chance, it really means a lot," he said bashfully.

Courtney also reddened slightly, touched by his words. She didn't know how much she meant to him, and it made her feel special. She leaned in to kiss him and just as their lips brushed and Cody tangled his fingers through her hair, the door was slammed open and a short, skinny woman with short, wavy chestnut brown hair barged in with a man of about the same height with equally pale skin, a cleanly shaven face and straight brown hair with glasses at her side.

Courtney and Cody quickly jumped away from each other, each turning a bright shade of red.

"M-Mom! D-Dad!" Cody stuttered nervously.

His parents stared down at them, both with shocked expressions on their face. The awkward silence was extremely uncomfortable, and Courtney wished she could just disappear.

"My goodness…" Mrs. Anderson let out, placing a hand on her chest. She broke out into a relieved looking smile. "Looks like my son is as straight as a floorboard after all!"

Cody's eyes widened as his face flared red with embarrassment.

Ignoring her son's embarrassment, Mrs. Anderson nudged her husband in the ribs. "Carl, go get the camera!" She whispered loudly, defeating the point of whispering. Cody buried his face in his hands as Courtney continued to blush madly. With a kindhearted smile, the older woman turned to Courtney.

"So sweetie, what's your name?"

"C-Courtney," the tan skinned brunette let out meekly.

"You got a nice set of legs, make sure you don't crush my Cody's little hips with those kickers. The name's Cindy, by the way." Cindy grinned.

"You seem like a woman who takes charge," remarked Carl, having returned with the camera, which turned out to be an outdated Polaroid camera. "I don't know for sure whether or not this foreplay was your idea, but I approve!" He grinned snapping a picture of the duo.

Cody tugged at his hair, burying his face in his arms while Courtney looked as if she was a deer in the headlights of a monster truck.

Slipping her hand into her husbands both Mr. and Mrs. Anderson started to head out. "Be safe you two, there are condoms in the bottom left drawer!" Cindy called over her shoulder.

The door was shut with a soft _click, _and the two teens sat in awkward silence, taking shy glances at each other out of the corners of their eyes.

"S-Sorry about them," Cody apologized, smiling meekly. "They're a little… easily excitable…"

Courtney smiled, letting out a quiet laugh. "It's okay, Cody. At least now, I know where you get it from…"

Cody froze, his face turning even redder (if even possible) and eyed the brunette quizzically. "Wait… y-you _knew…_?"

Courtney rolled her eyes smiling, before raising a challenging eyebrow. "Cody, I dated Duncan for months and you do _not _want to know how many hard ons he got, whenever I wore leggings… It's just puberty." She said.

Feeling a bit better, Cody grinned impishly and chuckled. Courtney joined in with a few quiet giggles, until both their laughter started to get louder and louder until they were full out laughing.

So Cody and Courtney learned two lessons that day.

One: Anything is possible.

And Two…?

Harold gives _terrible _advice.

* * *

AGH… SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I got stuck on the end and just ended up ending it… meh-ly…

OMG... you had no idea how awkward it was to write this, because for I am a girl and have _no _clue about boners... Ah well, I hope you enjoyed it.

Anyway, I hope you liked the Tenth Chapter Encore Special and I look forward (hopefully) to more regular updates for this!

Please review!

~Alexex


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